Matthew & Alicia DeWever

Shout-out to all who are loved

2009-02-09T11:36:00.012-05:00

It occurs to me that the ones we love never get to hear it enough, so for all those of you that check this blog regularly, I LOVE YOU! I TRUST YOU! I MEAN IT!

I have had a chance to relax this morning and appreciate stuff. I got to talk with Laura Siegrist, a collegiate friend who recently moved to frozen Indiana. I ate dessert for breakfast (yummy apple squares, mmmm), and looked around to see that the laundry was done and the house was pretty clean. I think I heard angelic voices just now.

Thank you Jesus for opening my eyes to see so many folks within whom you are at work. Thank you Jesus for giving me your love through them. Thank you Jesus for showing us your grace when we don't trust you. Thanks for taking away my job, because I have been so blessed by new lessons and new friends.

Thank YOU for thinking of us, we are doing well and setting our minds on things that are good, pure, noble and worthy of our time. The office is clean-- thanks Matt! The garden is full of potential, and we are really enjoying all the warm weather recently.

I cannot believe that this Saturday marks our FIVE YEAR ANNIVERSARY. We actually call it our "Valentersary." Am I getting old? Am I really 5 years older? I've stopped waiting for an epiphany-- life moves too fast to process them anyway.

Watching John's Memorial service DVD has really solidified the gigantic ripple effect of one person's life. He was treasured. We have been burning copies all week and it has been emotional, special and hard. You can watch it by clicking on the link below:

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1108032059856

A New Year, lots to share

2009-01-25T13:34:00.007-05:00

It's been a long time since I sat down to write. I just haven't been ready, like I was scared to think about everything and force myself to put it into words.

Matt's dad left his body behind on the way to Heaven almost three weeks ago. He died on my father's birthyday: January 6. We had just returned to Virginia from our Christmas visit to New England. There was a wedding in DC that stalled our return by a few days, and it gave our hearts & minds a reprieve from those nagging, forboding thoughts of loss. So we drove back to Rumney and stayed a week. We were gone about 3 weeks. I got laid off just before we left, so things have been helter-skelter. Loss of job, loss of parent, loss of structure and lots of change.

Time with the Horkeys was short, but fun. Christmas seems to always a time of abundance and near-glutony, but this time seemed modest, balanced and easy. Hoo-rah! My brother and his family were there, so it was awesome to spend time with them. Michelle is a saint and their son is just so precious. So good-natured and sweet for a two year old. We all went to a butterfly conservatory in Massachusetts which will stay in memory forever. Here's a little piece of it.

Then we traveled on to visit Matt's family. John was spending more time sleeping each day, so we spent a lot of time hanging around the house with nights out to enjoy the snow and local friends. I spent a day sick with some nasty kind of puke-inducing virus. We visited with lots of family and had a great visit from John's doctor. Leaving was very hard; we knew that these had been our last days with earthly John. But the doctor encouraged us to go to the wedding, trying to guess which day John would pass was like shooting at the stars.

The wedding in DC was wonderful. We were surrounded by 'ole collegiate friends. The support, love and merriment was fresh air to us. Matt's best friend was the groom, and Matt was in the groomsmen lineup. Here he is with the rest of the guys. Such a loving, crazy bunch. And of course, DC is a great city.

The wedding was great, and we headed home with minds full of memories and tummies full of good food! Unfortunately, Matt soon cam edown with the vomit-inducing virus and spent the drive back home experiencing the symptoms of said virus. It took him two days to get back on his feet. The morning he was ready to go back to work was January 6th. We got the call at 1:30 am and were on the road back to Rumney by 8am.

Merry Christmas

2008-12-13T08:57:00.001-05:00

I want to say thank you to the economy, for giving this gift! The trip to New England has never been so cheap! $1.47 -- Holy Canolli! I can fill my tank for $20, like when I was in college!!

From pen to pan

2008-11-29T08:46:00.007-05:00

We had a great Thanksgiving. Of course, we were up late the night before in food preparations. The DeWevers brought buttermilk biscuits, cranberry jello salad, chocolate torte (from scratch!!) and a few games to the celebration.

Next day was the main event: the Turkey Slaughter. Both of us had taken chickens through this process, but a turkey seemed slightly more complicated. So we consulted with the experts and had set the strategy with the guidance of fathers, neighbors, friends and cousins.

This turkey was not phased by much. We let him fall asleep upside down before pulling the plug. It took about an hour from start to finish and another hour for him to be fried for dinner. While not a big fan of meat nor of butchering, it sure is nice to know where the food came from. When all was said and done, however, I probably ate one mouthful of turkey... but I've never eaten much of that on Thanksgiving anyway.

God is Sufficient

2008-11-01T08:00:00.002-05:00

Can I just give a shout out: God is doing AMAZING things!

Details aren't important, but have ever seen God "show up" all over your life... like in your best friend, cool giving opportunities, financial blessing, and good worship? Well, that's what is surrounding us right now. Such amazing grace.

Matt leaves on Monday for about 10 days in NH. It's going to be a great opportunity for him. I'll be following next Friday and we return home on November 16th. I'll get to hang out with my mom for a few days, which will be very nice as well.

Everything seems to be falling into place for us. I'm looking at an in-home business opportunity which is very exciting too. Bottom line: I sense the presence of the LORD all around our family.

A Weekend with Family

2008-10-25T10:46:00.007-05:00

The second weekend in October was a great opportunity to visit NH again. We traveled with our favorite companions: Bernie & Martha and the van. Saturday was a barn raising, another step in Isaac's summer-long project in central VT. It was a beautiful time of year and an good time with John & Priscilla. We also got to spend a lot of time with Nate, Veronica & the boys. Here's some pics for your enjoyment. For those curious, I've included a video at the very bottom: intense! :D

It's Been a While...

2008-10-05T14:12:00.007-05:00

Well, as I imagined would be the case, we haven't had much time off since the last post. From May-October we keep quite busy with our jobs; not enough time for decent blogging.

This weekend is a casual one for the DeWevers and as the work week begins to slow, we've begun to take back some of hobbies. Today was a nice time to mosey around the house and work on previously-ignored projects. We finally moved the office downstairs, installed light switches in the basement, and Matt tackled the apple pie featured in last month's edition of Southern Style magazine. This is his Paula Dean picture. He also made a coffee cake and served me breakfast in bed: faboulous! I found a use for all the donated brie I still have in the fridge... yummy savory tarts. We are hosting cell group tonight.

On Wednesday we'll drive to New Hampshire for Isaac's birthday, a barn raising & some time with John & Priscilla. The months have been pretty status quo, but John is eating less these days and we wanted to grab a quick visit before the Christmas pilgrimage.

What have we done this Summer?

Random house projects: drip hoses galore, gutter caps, bits of landscaping...
Visited Jason in DC, meeting his fiance. The wedding is sometime in January.
Hosted my mom for 10 days. Also visited Colonial Williamsburg for the 1st time.
Installed HVAC!! Yes, friends, we'll have heat this winter!
Matt is taking a community college class for business management.
Fianlly bought a lawn mower & a ladder.
Recently did a liver cleanse.
I baptized the cordless phone in the washing machine... so we bought a new one.

Here are some photos:

A weekend planned by God

2008-05-14T20:23:00.004-05:00

We left Virginia this past Friday after work and split the 12 hour drive into 2 parts, staying overnight at Montage Mountain, PA. It was a nice opportunity to drive with Bernie & Martha, and their van was also a nice change; more leg room is good!

We pulled into John & Priscilla's driveway at 3pm to see that Mark (John's younger brother) and Becky were already there, with Italian sandwiches from Maine. But Priscilla was crying and John was on the phone with his doctor. His other leg has slowly become swollen throughout the day and by 3pm it was showing discoloration in the foot. John's doctor was very persistent in having John taken to Dartmouth Medical Center's ER, as they had a 24/7 ultrasound dept. We tried to enjoy the sandwiches, but it was obviously a tense situation; John was angry & Priscilla was worried. Not too long after, we had commandeered Bernie & Martha's van to transport John to Hanover, NH and Dartmouth Medical Center.

After quite a while, John was diagnosed with another series of blood clots and admitted to the hospital's oncology ward for the night. The next morning we learned that his blood pressure had dropped to 60/40 and that he was dehydrated to the point of near hypothermia. After a series of blood tests, transfusions, several bags of liquids, etc... he had regained color and was feeling almost normal. Then we had consultations with the doctors.

It's tricky to explain, so I'll give you a nut shell version about John's situation. Due to the polycystic kidneys, John can't have tests normally used to diagnose the progression of his cancer or the location from where his kidneys are bleeding. Blood thinners have been useful and are now necessary for maintaining a fine line between keeping blood clots from forming and must be controlled so that the kidneys will not bleed uncontrollably. The doctors wanted to take John off the blood thinners before starting his chemo pills, as a side effect is internal bleeding (not good when that's already an issue).

After talking with several doctors and specialists, John has decided to maintain the blood thinners and hope for the best. It was also decided that since John is still in the hospital, he should begin his chemo pills (Sutent), so they can monitor and catch any issues that may pop up. This is a great thing: even though he'd rather not be in the hospital, he is getting excellent care & Priscilla is glad to have all the resources available to them there.

John has been getting a suspended dose of pain medication which also helps to control his coughing. A massage therapist will spend about 45 minutes with him 3x this week and that's really helped relax him. The nausea is staying at bay most days due to medication, so he is eating at regular intervals and enjoying it for the most part. We all met with the Palliative Care team which is helping with paperwork for dissability, advance directives, etc. They are great people!!

We praise God for this weekend! Although there are hospitals closer to Rumney, Dartmouth Medical Center is very therapeutic for patients and their guests. Extensive grounds are available for picnic lunches, casual walks, and there's even a trail system for when you just need to step away from it all. John's room is on ground level and has a huge picture window that looks out into a small garden. Down the hall is a waiting area with a patio and picnic table, and the food options are extremely diverse.

John has his own room. We (Priscilla, Mathew, Isaac, me, Bernie & Martha) were able to visit from 9am -3pm almost every day without discomfort or feeling crowded, and would switch out for lunch and to let him sleep. We went to Subway for Mother's Day, at 'Cilla's request, & my parents came for a short stay while we were in the area. The drive home was nice and the work week is already 1/2 over!! That's nice.

Leaving New Hampshire was difficult, but everything in life is uncertain... we have no guarantee that our loved ones will be with us forever. Each day with John was a gift to see God's hand of peace in his heart. It's so much easier for us because John is not trying to evade this part of the journey. And Matt even said that he would not be as much at peace if we hadn't moved here and been growing as God has directed. It's amazing. Nobody wants to loose John, but it's not a good-bye-- only a "see you later."

A much-anticipated update

2008-05-03T13:45:00.005-05:00

John, Priscilla & Isaac met with a kidney cancer specialist at Dartmouth-Hitchcock (university med school) this past Wednesday to see about different treatment options. Because John is so weak, and because both his kidneys are not functioning well, he has no good options for strong and/or invasive treatment. This rules out high-doseages of chemo and any sort of operation or transplant.

He is a great candidate for at-home chemo, which is a prescribed pill that you take on a set schedule. Sort of like an "on again/off again" doseage. Side effects include nasea/ vomitting, diarhea, etc... and hair loss. So big changes for John there!! The pill has been ordered from their local pharmacy and should arrive within 10 days or so (I think). When they delivered the script from the doctor, they learned that the co-pay would be about $25/month. Without insurance, this Rx can be as much as $7,500/month!! Can you only imagine...

John continues this up-hill battle with all the grace & humor for which he is known, but his body is not regenerating itself at all. He continues to be on standby at the local hospital if his levels indicate a need for new, fresh blood. He is weak, fragile-looking, and battles coughing if he engages in conversation. This is most likely due to fluid build-up around the heart, a common problem with cancer.

Priscilla is holding up well, taking time in the morning to get out of the house & put in a few hours at the boys' home accross the street. Most of the boys and staff know John & Priscilla very well and it is a great relationship that Priscilla can maintain, combatting the feelings of helplessness. Her mantra remains the same, "God is in control." At this point, it is the only thing that keeps her going.

Isaac is back from Alaska, returning to main land culture, and keeping busy in the afternoons when Priscilla returns home from the Beckett House. We haven't spoken too much, but he remains hopeful, knowing that God has it all under control.

Matt & I are planning another trip for an extended Mother's Day weekend. Bernie & Martha (Priscilla's sister & brother-in-law) have made plans to visit, so we will carpool and help out with the driving. Matt has had to work through some low emotions recently, so this will be incredibly good for him. It's a rare opportunity for me, because I won't be able to break away from work all summer with any ease.

There is a website I found helpful:

http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/wyntk/kidney/page1

Renal Cell Carcinoma

2008-04-22T19:33:00.003-05:00

I spoke with Mom and Dad today and found that the meeting in Laconia was a little long... (the last two weeks have been very long, so that's no surprise.)

At 8 o'clock AM, Dad and Mom arrived at Lakes Region General Hospital to meet with Dr. Friedlander, an oncologist on staff there. Approximately 4 hours later they left the appointment knowing two things;

One - Dad has been diagnosed with Renal Cell Carcinoma (Kidney Cancer).

Two - Dad has an appointment on the 30th of April with an oncologist at Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center who specializes in RCC. After the meeting next week at DHMC, the oncologists from both Laconia and Dartmouth are going to meet and determine the road for treatment.

I asked Mom how she was feeling after the long day. I think she is relieved to finally have a diagnosis.

Dad sounded much better tonight; he was prescribed a very good medicine to relieve the persistent cough he has. Talking to him today was much easier and he stayed on the phone quite a while.

I want to thank everyone, friends and family alike, who has supported my family in the last two weeks and who is continuing to support my Dad and Mom both present with them and in prayer and phone calls, etc.

This has been quite a trying time for me, though God has never been closer and Christ never so fair as in these last two weeks. Seeing my father physically stretched and thinned, yet so spiritually vibrant, is fantastic. (We truly are weak earthen vessels through which Christ wants to shine to the world.)

Thank you all again.

MATTHEW

Still no results

2008-04-20T21:55:00.004-05:00

Well, we're back in Virginia. Although the trip was absolutely worth it, we are glad to be back home to routine and familiarity. I thought those of you who hadn't seen John recently should be prepared for when you see him next. The timing of this photo was when John was experiencing some chest pain, so he's not smiling like he normally would. In fact, he smiles less often now, but his witt and grace are the same as ever.

The time spent with Priscilla & John was really good. Because the weather was so nice, we were able to return some curb appeal needed for today's real estate market (raking, mulching, etc). The next 2 months will probably be the "hot" time for their area, so we wanted the yard to be ready. It was also warm enough to enjoy some sunshine and warm breezes on the porch and in the yard with John. That day he was experiencing significant chest pain, so we returned to the local hospital ER in case the blood clot had moved itself into his lung.

The team of doctors & nurses determined that he was not having a heart attack, but could not perform a CAT Scan, because of the sensitivity of his kidneys to the contrast/dye. The ER team called in his primary doctor and we all had a good chat. Basically, John has cancer, but the type is still undetermined. Hopefully this will be resolved by Tuesday morning's meeting. He has fluid around his heart (most likely due to the cancer) and low blood pressure. His blood is thinned perfectly, so the likelihood of a clot at all is extremely low. His primary doctor couldn't perform any tests because it was Friday night/Saturday morning and the only hospitals that could were in Boston. The bigger hospitals would put him through every test he's already had again, trying to figure out where the cancer was stemming from and what to do next about chest pain and/or low blood pressure. So, the primary doctor gave some helpful advice and allowed John to return home until Tuesday's meeting with the oncologist. He did mention that he'd call the lab & pester them to be sure that John's case was prioritized. He's a great doctor and was very candid that because John was so young, any treatment would be worth a try.

The doctor also told us that the probability of John having Histiocytosis X was a likely misdiagnoses, because statistics show that the majority of complex diagnosis with strange names (ie: Histo X) are extremely rare and often a case of common oversight of a more "normal" problem. It is very likely that John has kidney (Renal) cancer. Renal cancer doesn't take normal chemo treatment and an operation wouldn't work, but chemicals similar to chemo are often used with varied results. Because his kidneys are already compromised with tumors, we do not know what can be done... we look forward to knowing some answers Tuesday.

Isaac returns home from Alaska this week, which will be a great comfort to us all. While Matt was there, the lawyer was contacted and trusts, POA, etc was settled and done. The taxes were also filed. Matt found an error in John's calculations, resulting in $1,000 less they owed Uncle Sam. Dinners have begun arriving daily and Priscilla is holding up pretty well. John is most often tired by 2 pm and dozes off throughout the day. He coughs regularly, a chest cough that starts like a tickle and takes the energy right out of him. But he still chuckles at my jokes!

Priscilla's parent hope to visit this week which should be a comfort to her. They recently retuned from their winter home in Virginia and are getting their lake house up to snuff after a long Adirondack winter. All prayer are going right to the source, thank you all for your cards and gifts of love and care. Matt & I are planning to return for a long weekend for Mother's Day, but are "on call" in the meantime. Wisdom will be needed as the time passes.

Still Waiting

2008-04-17T19:01:00.002-05:00

Alicia (that's me) left Virginia on Wednesday morning with the Nate Myles family, who were en route to their home in New Hampshire. The 13 hour trip was uneventful, made enjoyable with good company and fast food. We were also pleased to learn that John was "released" from captivity at Lakes Region General Hospital with instructions to get blood work done the following day to determine appropriate medication doseage. Once back at home on Depot St, Matt stopped in to see some old friends & work colleagues at Harris Family Furniture. They knew about John's condition and asked if he would appreciate an ajustable bed (which they had in stock and could easily donate to the family). What a blessing!!! Halelujah, the LORD knows what we need before we even ask. John can sit up, raise his legs, lie flat, or whatever... because the bed was delievered & set up in the same day! John is currently lounging on a queen-sized bed downstairs in the TV room. He has a good view of the kitchen too.

We anticipated a prognosis & diagnosis meeting today (Thurdsay) at 2pm with the doctors, but received word that the tests were still being done on his tissue samples taken earlier in the week on Tuesday. This was frustrating, but we are thankful he is able to really rest at home and comfortable; it's so nice to be together as a family! I must confess that seeing John in this state was a shock-- in the 4 months since Christmas, he has become very frail looking & boney. His eyes have a very dark pool look to them, but he's the same old John... always making us chuckle.

The meeting has been reschuled for Tuesday, but Matt & I will be back in Virginia by then. We plan to head out early on Saturday & enjoy breakfast with my parents on our trip back to Virginia.

Tomorrow we will be taking care of loose ends around the house... such as mulching the flower beds and replacing screen on a few windows and the porch doors. The weather should cooperate though, there's almost no snow left on the ground! Eveyone here is looking forward to consistantly warmer days.

2008-04-14T10:55:00.001-05:00

Firstly, let me (again) thank everyone who has made intercession for John & his loved ones. It is obvious that this is God's show... and he's got everything under control. We watch him orchestrate such marvelous wonders daily.

Here's a quick update; I just spoke with Matt...

The tissues taken from his biopsy are insufficient to determine the cells growing in his lungs, theefore a second biopsy is scheduled for tomorrow. Luckily, there is a lymphnode in his neck which will make this procedure less invasive. That's good. The meeting scheduled for Tuesday (a full scale report & diagnosis) has been pushed to Thursday. I will be able to get a ride to NH and be with the family either Thursday or Friday. Matt & I plan to travel back to Virginia over the weekend and be back to work Monday.Matt & Priscilla generally leave to go to the hospital (Lakes Region General Hospital: Laconia, NH) by 8am and are home by 8pm. If you want to call and speak with any of them, please do... they will be happy to get your call!

The ph# for John's room is: (603) 524-3211, ext. 2402

Recent Meditation

2008-04-13T13:22:00.004-05:00

Praise to the Lord,
The Almighty, the King of creation!
O my soul, praise Him,
For He is thy health and salvation!
All ye who hear,
Now to His temple draw near;
Praise Him in glad adoration.

Praise to the Lord,
Who over all things so wondrously reigneth,
Shelters thee under His wings,
Yea, so gently sustaineth!
Hast thou not seen
How all your longings have been
Granted in what He ordaineth?

Praise to the Lord,
Who doth prosper thy work and defend thee;
Surely His goodness
And mercy here daily attend thee.
Ponder anew
What the Almighty can do,
If with His love He befriend thee.

Praise to the Lord,
O let all that is in me adore Him!
All that hath life and breath,
Come now with praises before Him.
Let the Amen
Sound from His people again,
Gladly for aye we adore Him.

A Few Thank yous

2008-04-13T12:48:00.004-05:00

To everyone in the family, fellowship, or proximity of John, Matt, Priscilla (and me) I want to say thanks. I really should have written about 1500 thank you notes thus far... you'll have to settle for a public session of me getting all the appreciation off my chest:

Thank you for:

Offering your thoughts of health and prayers for the same.
Giving small gifts of cookies, juice, coffee, dinner, etc...
Looking up fares for flights, just in case (Sarah)
Asking if there's anything we need (Mom & Dad Horkey)
Being sensitive about offering space or providing extra companionship
Paying for my lunch (thanks Bernie & Nate)
Building up good energy through laughter
Letting us cry (Ashley)
Letting us talk (Elisabeth)
Helping out with transportation (Eleanor)
Providing helpful information when we need wisdom
Taking us out on walks (Linda)
Inviting me to your sleepover (Abby)
Expressing your own thoughts & feelings (Martha)
Asking if we need any cash
Impromptu acts of kindness
Calling to check in
Helpful reminders
E-mails
Understanding

“Praise Him for His acts of power; praise Him for His surpassing greatness.” Psalm 150:1-2

What I recently learned about cancer

2008-04-12T22:03:00.006-05:00

Cancer Update from Johns Hopkins

1. Every person has cancer cells in the body. These cancer cells do not show up in the standard tests until they have multiplied to a few billion.When doctors tell cancer patients that there are no more cancer cells in their bodies after treatment, it just means the tests are unable to detect the cancer cells because they have not reached the detectable size.

2. Cancer cells occur between 6 to more than 10 times in a person's lifetime.

3. When the person's immune system is strong the cancer cells will be destroyed and prevented from multiplying and forming tumors.

4. When a person has cancer it indicates the person has multiple nutritional deficiencies. These could be due to genetic, environmental, food and lifestyle factors.

5. To overcome the multiple nutritional deficiencies, changing diet and including supplements will strengthen the immune system.

6. Chemotherapy involves poisoning the rapidly-growing cancer cells and also destroys rapidly-growing healthy cells in the bone marrow, gastro-intestinal tract etc, and can cause organ damage, like liver, kidneys, heart, lungs etc.

7. Radiation while destroying cancer cells also burns, scars and damages healthy cells, tissues and organs.

8. Initial treatment with chemotherapy and radiation will often reduce tumor size, however prolonged use of chemotherapy and radiation do not result in more tumor destruction.

9. When the body has too much toxic burden from chemotherapy and radiation, the immune system is either compromised or destroyed, hence the person can succumb to various kinds of infections and complications.

10. Chemotherapy and radiation can cause cancer cells to mutate and become resistant and difficult to destroy. Surgery can also cause cancer cells to spread to other sites.

11. An effective way to battle cancer is to starve the cancer cells by not feeding it with the foods it needs to multiply.

Sugar is a cancer-feeder By cutting off sugar it cuts off one important food supply to the cancer cells. Sugar substitutes like NutraSweet, Equal,Spoonful, etc are made with Aspartame and it is harmful. A better natural substitute would be Manuka honey or molasses but only in very small amounts. Table salt has a chemical added to make it white in colour . A better alternative is Bragg's amino or sea salt.

Milk causes the body to produce mucus, especially in the gastro-intestinal tract. Cancer feeds on mucus. By cutting off milk and substituting with unsweetened soy milk cancer cells are being starved.

Cancer cells thrive in an acid environment. A meat-based diet is acidic and it is best to eat fish, and a little chicken rather than beef or pork. Meat also contains livestock antibiotics, growth hormones and parasites, which are all harmful, especially to people with cancer.

A diet made of 80% fresh vegetables and juice, whole grains,seeds, nuts and a little fruits help put the body into an alkaline environment. About 20% can be from cooked food including beans. Fresh vegetable juices provide live enzymes that are easily absorbed and reach down to cellular levels within 15 minutes to nourish and enhance growth of healthy cells. To obtain live enzymes for building healthy cells try and drink fresh vegetable juice (most vegetables including bean sprouts) and eat some raw vegetables 2 or 3 times a day. Enzymes are destroyed at temperatures of 104 degrees F.

Avoid coffee, tea, and chocolate, which have high caffeine. Green tea is a better alternative and has cancer-fighting properties. Water-best to drink purified water, or filtered, to avoid known toxins and heavy metals in tap water. Distilled water is acidic, avoid it.

Meat protein is difficult to digest and requires a lot of digestive enzymes. Undigested meat remaining in the intestines become putrified and leads to more toxic buildup.

Cancer cell walls have a tough protein covering. By refraining from or eating less meat it frees more enzymes to attack the protein walls of cancer cells and allows the body's killer cells to destroy the cancer cells.

Some supplements build up the immune system (IP6, Flor-ssence, Essiac, anti-oxidants, vitamins, minerals, EFAs etc.) to enable the body's own killer cells to destroy cancer cells. Other supplements like vitamin E are known to cause apoptosis, or programmed cell death, the body's normal method of disposing of damaged, unwanted, or unneeded cells.

Cancer is a disease of the mind, body, and spirit. A proactive and positive spirit will help the cancer warrior be a survivor. Anger, unforgiveness and bitterness put the body into a stressful and acidic environment. Learn to have a loving and forgiving spirit. Learn to relax and enjoy life.

Cancer cells cannot thrive in an oxygenated environment. Exercising daily, and deep breathing help to get more oxygen down to the cellular level. Oxygen therapy is another means employed to destroy cancer cells.

And while you're thinking about it...

1. No plastic containers in micro.
2. No water bottles in freezer.
3. No plastic wrap in microwave.

Johns Hopkins has recently sent this out in its newsletters. This information is being circulated at Walter Reed Army Medical Center as well. Dioxin chemicals causes cancer, especially breast cancer. Dioxins are highly poisonous to the cells of our bodies. Don't freeze your plastic bottles with water in them as this releases dioxins from the plastic. Recently, Dr. Edward Fujimoto, Wellness Program Manager at Castle Hospital , was on a TV program to explain this health hazard. He talked about dioxins and how bad they are for us. He said that we should not be heating our food in the microwave using plastic containers. This especially applies to foods that contain fat. He said that the combination of fat, high heat, and plastics releases dioxin into the food and ultimately into the cells of the body. Instead, he recommends using glass, such as Corning Ware, Pyrex or ceramic containers for heating food. You get the same results, only without the dioxin. So such things as TV dinners, instant ramen and soups, etc., should be removed from the container and heated in something else. Paper isn't bad but you don't know what is in the paper. It's just safer to use tempered glass, Corning Ware, etc.

He reminded us that a while ago some of the fast food restaurants moved away from the foam containers to paper. The dioxin problem is one of the reasons. Also, he pointed out that plastic wrap, such as Saran, is just as dangerous when placed over foods to be cooked in the microwave. As the food is nuked, the high heat causes poisonous toxins to actually melt out of the plastic wrap and drip into the food Cover food with a paper towel instead.

What the doctors are thinking

2008-04-12T20:56:00.003-05:00

It is believed that John has Histiocytosis X as well as cancer. This progressive diagnosis is still inconclusive, so nothing you read until Tuesday is confirmed fact. I will explain Histiocitosis X below, let me clarify the cancer issue first, just because it's easier! The doctors are trying to determine between three different forms of cancer. They have concluded that lymphoma is NOT a factor any more. We do not know what other cancers they suspect.

Histio-what?!

Histiocytosis X, (Hsto X) is a condition of the immune system. It is characterized by an abnormal increase in the number of certain immune cells, called histiocyte cells. Histiocyte cells include monocytes, macrophages, and dendritic cells. (T-cell lymphoma is a related condition... so the doctors were definitely on the right track)

Hsto X has typically been thought of as a cancer-like condition, but more recently researchers have begun to suspect that it is actually an autoimmune phenomenon, in which rogue immune cells attack the body, rather than fight infections. Some forms of the disorder are genetic. Hsto X occurs in 1/200,000 per year.

Another type/name of this disorder, pulmonary histiocytosis X, is characterized by inflammation of the small airways (bronchioles) and the small blood vessels in the lungs. It is most common in adults. The inflammation leads to stiffening and destruction of the walls of the alveoli (parts of the lung). The cause is unknown. People 30 - 40 years old are affected most often. Cigarette smokers make up 90% of patients. Yes, John did smoke for some years. 50% with pulmonary Hsto X improve, while the other 50% loose lung function.

Symptoms:

Cough
Shortness of breath
Chest pain
Fever
Weight Loss
General discomfort, uneasiness, or ill feeling (malaise)
Increased amount of urine output
Thirst and increased drinking of fluids
Bone pain
Rash

The tumors produce a punched-out appearance on bone x-ray. Tumors in weight-bearing bones, such as the legs or spine, may fracture spontaneously. There is often systemic (whole body) involvement as well, causing rashes, lung problems, gum infiltration, lymph gland swelling, hormonal problems, enlargement of the spleen and liver, and anemia. Not surprisingly, with a disease that affects so many systems and organs, Hsto X may be deadly.
This disorder is treated with corticosteroids, which suppress immune function (including the dangerous cells). Radiation therapy or limited surgery may also be used to treat bone lesions. Patients are also treated with supportive care to reduce symptoms and treat infections that may occur when the immune system is compromised. Treatment may include antibiotics, breathing assistance with a respirator, physical therapy, selenium-based shampoo for scalp problems, and hormone replacement to deal with hormonal dysfunction.

So, how is the family?

It's a balancing act. How to temper emotions against new medical conclusions every day is a struggle, obviously. The regular routine can be a wonderful thing. Tonight the decision was made to enjoy a stir-fry dinner with basmatti rice (a new found favorite for Matt & me) . After Matt & Priscilla bought the rice, veggies & bottle of sauce, Matt called me on my cell phone in VA. They had bought the rice from a bulk container... no cooking directions! So we all laughed as I tried to recall the ratio. I'm sure it was good.

I am Rosie... right?!

2008-04-11T07:08:00.004-05:00

So we have a lawnmower now, which is great. Ever since my days on the Horkey farm, I was a little petified of having my own house and needing to take care of the grass. Lawnmowers don't like me, they always break, and it's a task like washing the dishes... people inspect your job and the spots you missed stand out real bad.

Last summer there was no rain, so mowing wasn't such a huge deal-- we had benevolent neighbors (crackheads who needed some cash) and we got by just fine.

Since Matt's been gone, the time to mow has arrived. And who doesn't love that smell of fresh-cut grass? So I did a fair amount of it earlier this week and planned to finish last night. Well...

The blasted machine wouldn't start!! I kept pulling the start chord (a whole lot) and checking t o see if I was doing everything right. I called Chris & Bernie (Matt's cousin & uncle); they said that I was doing it right, like the throttle, priming it, safety mechanism engaged. They recommended I "kick it a few times, throw it in the ditch, cuss, then walk away to enjoy a beer. 15 Minutes later, she'll start right up." And wouldn't you know it? I must've put the fear of GOD into our Toro!! HA HA HA Take THAT!

However, my tricep and upper lat are sooo sore from pulling that stupid start chord. What an imbalanced work out. I should have kicked it more.

The funny thing is that I've also gotten a flat tire this week. And Matt took the patch kit with him to NH. So I called Chris that time too. He came right over. I can only imagine if I tried to take on the Explorer!

There's no place like home

2008-04-10T20:51:00.004-05:00

John now weighs about 170 lbs, which means he's probably lost over 50 lbs. I think John stands 6' 2'' or so. Even so, the doctor says it's very likely he will be able to return home to Depot Street by Saturday. The blood clot must be almost completely dissolved. He was on 2 different medications for blood thinning. Coumadin was given as a tablet and Heparin through an IV. Matt & Priscilla have set up a mini bedroom downstairs for John and I'm sure he's looking forward to the peace and quiet.

They had some good laughs as Matt & Priscilla tried to persuade John that he had been inappropriately candid after coming out of surgery yesterday. Of course, neither Matt or Priscilla have a good poker face, so John knew they were lying almost immediately. Towards the second part of the day John went through some rough spells of nausea and needed some oxygen, but maintained a positive attitude through it all!

The "Bobopsy"

2008-04-09T21:12:00.003-05:00

General News

Matt reports that when John is fully awake and rested, he is his normal self... jolly, but weak. They've placed an iPOD in his room with all kinds of his favorite music. Both Matt & Priscilla spent most of the day with him and the energy was good overall, though it seems to be an emotional roller coaster. When new friends come to see the family, many get emotional and the tears begin to flow all over again. It is obvious that John & Priscilla have touched many lives while living in New Hampshire, because once everyone has collected himself/herself -- a new well-wisher arrives!

At this point it seems that Isaac will continue at his job in Alaska as planned. He should be back home by the 25th unless he changes his mind, but the money he's making is very, very good. I spoke with him just a few minutes ago & he's thinking that the extra funds will be helpful in these next few months. It is obvious that this was a difficult decision, but he calls in regularly and talks to John throughout the day.

The System Sucks

Matt spent a lot of time today making inquiries into Medicare/Medicaid, insurance, disability, and so on... it was very frustrating. We now understand why so many people desire a national health care system, because the one we've got is "really messed up. I needn't go into details... let's just say that most people are high and dry for 6 months unless they suddenly find themselves in renal failure or a similar fatal condition.

The Biopsy

The oncologist (cancer doctor) says that John's cancer might actually be lymphoma, a much easier form of cancer to treat. This being said, when they operated to get tissue samples for testing, the doctors saw some abnormal growth in one of his lungs. They won't have the results until next week and the appointment with the doctor is scheduled for Tuesday at 2pm. This is when plans will be made and steps will be taken.

Laughter does good like medicine... click on the above title of this post (or paste this link into your browser) for a favorite line from My Big Fat Greek Wedding.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWispEM3900

No test results; no definite plans

2008-04-08T20:54:00.003-05:00

Safe travels

Matt arrived safely "home" in NH around 5pm today. He told me that when he walked into his dad's hospital room he saw a 70 yr-old man staring back at him. John is in his mid-late 50's. All his symptoms over the past months/year make sense now: weight loss, nausea, coughing, severe lack of energy. He looks whithered and uncomfortable. We still are not 100% sure that he has cancer, so they are waiting to see the test results before sharing the c-word with John's mother & step-father. The biopsy is scheduled for 1:30 tomorrow (Wednesday) and they may not have comprehensive results until Friday.

They told Isaac

They called Isaac this morning, but do not know when he will be home from Alaska. He already had plane tickets for April 24th, but the biopsy scheduled for tomorrow will tell us a whole lot more... and if we need to make any quick travel plans.

Should I Stay or Should I Go

At this point, we are still unsure about the length of Matt's stay and if I will join the family before the results come in. Please pray for wisdom. I can take a break from my job whenever I need to, so that is a nice feeling. It's also nice to get some Spring cleaning done while a certain man is out of town :)

That'll Preach!

Most everyone who has visited John & the family has gotten an word of exhortation. It's been a wonderful testimony to the immense abundance of God's goodness.

The next few days will hold a lot of paperwork for the family. Dual POA, in-house care options, chemo location research, and the like. There's a lot to consider, but (again) most plans cannot take shape until the doctors look at what's been going on inside.

Thank you all for your words of encouragement and support.
You are good friends.

Please Pray

2008-04-07T21:47:00.007-05:00

Many of you know that Matt's family has a history with polycystic kidney disease. His father has been having a rough time lately with his health and we all believed it to be related to kidney complications. Saturday he was taken to the hospital with a blood clot in his leg. After a CAT Scan today, they believe that his urgent & primary health concern is cancer of the lower lung and abdomen.

What we believed would be a surgery for relieving the blood clot is actually needing to be a biopsy to determine if the CAT Scan is being read correctly. Matt left for NH tonight and will be in NH with his parents for the biopsy tomorrow am. If cancer is the diagnosis, the only way to treat it is with chemo.

PRAISE THE LORD that Matt has a peace that passes understanding. His mom & dad are also being able to rest in Christ, albeit with spurts of emotional stress. I'm staying behind in Virginia for now and have the ability to join the family easily if necessary. Everyone has been more than helpful & super generous. I'll post an update when the biopsy results are in.

Please pray for the family and the conditions that surround this situation. I'll keep everyone updated as much as possible, please just check our blog for now, it's easier for me!

Cards can be sent to:
John & Priscilla DeWever
343 Depot Street
Rumney, NH 03266

The Wall

2008-04-06T08:13:00.005-05:00

My favorite things of Spring

2008-03-18T17:08:00.006-05:00

What the Heck?!

2008-02-23T12:04:00.002-05:00

My right eyelid is doing a dance this morning... does this ever happen to you? And all I can think about is:

Why is my eyelid going crazy?
Can anyone else tell? Is it driving them crazy?!
How long must I endure these facial spasms?

So I Googled the situation, just to see. Here's the answer to one FAQ (Frequently Asked Question)

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000756.htm

Eye Twitching, or Blepharospasm, is involuntary eyelid twitching. It is also referred to as an eye muscle spasm. The term blepharospasm really applies to any abnormal blinking or involuntary eye twitching of the eyelids caused by uncontrolled contractions of the muscles around the eyelids.

The most common things that make the muscle in your eyelid twitch are fatigue, stress, and caffeine. Once spasms begin, they may continue off and on for a few days. Then, they disappear. Most people experience this type of eyelid twitch on occasion and find it very annoying. In most cases, you won't even notice when the twitch has stopped.

More severe contractions, where the eyelid completely closes, are possible. These can be caused by irritation of the surface of the eye (cornea) or the membranes lining the eyelids (conjunctiva).

Eyelid twitching usually disappears without treatment. In the meantime, the following steps may help:

Get more sleep.
Drink less caffeine.
Lubricate your eyes with eye drops.
If twitching is severe, small injections of Botulinum toxin can temporarily cure the spasms.**

**"Sweet-- Botulinum!" (Poison, anyone?)

Valentine Memories

2008-02-19T23:01:00.015-05:00

Some really great moments to remember:

I can e-mail these & more to anyone that wants them, just let me know.
This year, we celebrated 4yrs! It was a great weekend that I'll have to tell you about some other time.

His Eye is on the Sparrow

2008-02-19T21:40:00.008-05:00

Some of you may have heard about our cat that was being chased by a car & got her butt whooped. We have no idea how it happened, but Kona was out all night a few weeks ago & we didn't see her until the next afternoon when our neighbor stopped by.

Two houses down, our neighbor found Kona in the middle of his driveway, unable to move out of the way. He knew Matt & I were the owners of two black cats so he came knocking on the door to let us know. When we saw her, she looked fine... but couldn't use her tail or back legs. There were no spots on her that looked "bad." She came home & drank a lot of water, but still didn't move. It was a Sunday afternoon-- the clinic down the road was closed. We figured the worst since she couldn't use her legs... but she was still herself. There was no weirdness or reclusive behavior, which is what dying animals usually exhibit. So we called Dennis, the family friend & veterinarian that I used to work for in NH. He agreed that if her back legs were unresponsive, her spine & legs were probably broken & her life would be sad, at best.

Let me say that I have great family affection for our pets, but draw a very firm line between what is normal & what is beyond realistic when it comes to health & well-being. While working for Dennis, I saw a lot of people who went to great lengths to keep their pets just as THEY wanted... without consideration of cost or natural limits of the animal. *

After a lot of discussion & pulling Kona's little legs (to see if she could pull them back), we were at the point of letting her go. Her collar was off & Matt was going to take her to a cousin's back field for a quick "fix." But then, in one final attempt to save her feline life, she pulled her legs from our grasp!!! I quickly called Dennis again, to hear his opinion. There we a lot of "ifs" but we believed that Kona might pull through without surgery or major medical costs.

After a trip to the animal clinic, we found that Kona had a fractured pelvis and moderate nerve damage, but she is walking around now and whining to go outside (yeah-right). She can go up & down the stairs and is almost able to jump onto the couch. Her pelvis is almost healed and she isn't limping at all. Though her tail remains "asleep," she will be able to return to normal outdoor play when the vet says so.

Why is this important...

When I was a child, about 8 yrs-old, my goat (go ahead & laugh) got gangrene** on one of her udders. The poor animal had a 50/50 chance & there was nothing else my parents could/would do for her. She was given appropriate treatment, but her fate was out of our hands. So I prayed. I really cried my eyes out before the Lord and asked him to heal my favorite pet. I knew He didn't have to, but believed that he could. If he knew about the sparrows, he certainly knew about my Saanen named Beatle.

Beatle lost one of her udders, but remained a faithful companion for all my fanciful playtime. She pulled wagons, wore ribbons, hats & dresses, and birthed new playmates for me time after time. Since 1988, the truth of God's love & fatherly care is poignantly remembered in this simple story. He made me realize the importance of "insignificant prayers."

So I prayed for Kona. I considered all the Calvinism theology that often deters certain supplications, and prayed nonetheless. Did He have to save my cat? No. But now I have a chance to blog and share this story again, 20 years after the goat.

Here is Kona during recovery,
chillin' in a contained space with her favorite toy, the Weenie Dog:

* de-clawing your cat is a horrible way to keep your upholstery in good condition. It is major surgery & probably equivalent with having YOUR finger and toenails permanently removed from hands & feet so you won't pick your nose or experience ingrown toenails.

**gan·grene (gāng'grēn', gāng-grēn')
n. Death and decay of body tissue, often occurring in a limb, caused by insufficient blood supply and usually following injury or disease.

Good times

2008-02-19T21:28:00.004-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NVbFoj3aTQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vij27eOzZM4

Ever have the need for a laugh?
These links will take you to YouTube.com for some great 2008 Superbowl commercials! We didn't watch but the last 5 minutes of the game, so when we happened upon these, Matt nearly laughed himself to the floor... me too! You may know them as the Ugly Planters Lady & the Screaming Squirrel.

It's worth your time. If I were cool, I could embed the videos right from youtube. Well, I guess you know now-- I'm just not that concerned with being the cool kid any more.

So it's 2008

2008-01-13T16:20:00.000-05:00

Has it really been 6 months since we made the move to Virginia?

Well, I must say this: even though it's funky, it's home!

I really thought going back to New England would bring back all the "home vibes," but it only drew a line between what was then and what is now. It's just different now. Our old bedrooms have been converted into storage. My high school was bulldozed and turned into the new football field. My dear friends have changed addresses and life philosophies just like me.

Kids I used to babysit are going to college and my college friends have babies. The old roads lead to new hot spots. The ice cream stands have closed, the IGA is now a spa & fitness facility. The family owned restaurant is owned by a new family. And that old building that housed struggling businesses (one after the other) is vacant again.

Life goes one. Going home was like being part of a favorite re-run, like my own Wonder Years. funny.

So I sit here listening to songs that were crucial to Plainfield High School between 1994 & 1998. Smiling, singing with Lisa Loeb. What was UCONN Huskies is now VTech Hokies. The pony tail is the same, the embarrassing last name is gone (Thank you, LORD!) but comes back to fondness when I rub shoulders with people from "back home." There it is again, the word that really means something special... and yet something else.

Elves and Scrooge at Christmas

2007-12-16T21:49:00.000-05:00

OK EVERYBODY!

This last week, Alicia and I got an email from Momma Horkey and it was an ELF card and a SCROOGE card. I thought they were so funny, and we sent a couple around.

Today, my uncle gave me pictures of my grandmother and grandfather Chute. So, I made them elves and made my grandfather a Scrooge (at Nana's request!). Follow the links to enjoy them!

Alicia and Me as Elves

Me and my friend Jason as Elves

Nana and Grampa as Elves

Grampa as Scrooge

Well, I hope you all laugh as much as I did.

Merry Christmas,

MATT

A Moment to Think

2007-11-29T17:01:00.000-05:00

Normally, I don’t endorse these things, especially when an issue is hotly debated. But this poem is particularly special to me. The men & women doing their jobs in a demanding field (of battle) should never be criticized for a job they themselves often dislike, even disdain. Many of you know one or two who have served in active duty at one time. Tell them you love them-- these eternal words are never heard enough. We must love them, honor them, and give them our support. They are the ones caught up in the nasty politics of peace.

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.

Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.

My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.

The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear,
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know,
Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.

My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.

A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.

"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,
"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"

For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts..
To the window that danced with a warm fire's light,
Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right,

I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night.
So that your family can sleep without fright.
It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.

No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
My Gramps died at 'Pearl on a day in December,"
Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers"

"My dad stood his watch in the jungles of 'Nam',
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.
I've not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile."

Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue...an American flag.
"I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.

I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother.

Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."
"So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."

"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your son."

Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
"Just tell us you love us, and never forget.
To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.

For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us."

Gem Sweater

2007-11-23T20:27:00.000-05:00

Has anyone else seen this? It really brings me back and makes me want to dance just like Leslie Hall. It's amazing how much about this phenomenon is on the web & television, I guess. She's a physical comedian like you've never seen before.

I think of so many girlhood friends. Those who, like me, thought that the bedazzler was the epitome of fashion hottness. Janice Aseltine, Tanya Hammel, Meegan Pratt, and so many more. My best friend Elisabeth comes to mind...

Leslie Hall may have taken gem sweaters a little far, but her beginnings are pure and her music video "This is how we go out" rocks! I wish I could zig-a-zig-ah just like her! A little more practice, Alicia.

Here are some really good links, enjoy:
Official website
You tube videos

Leaf Peeping

2007-10-31T17:51:00.000-05:00

Peaks of Otter was once thought to be the highest point in Virginia. We now know that this isn't true, but Sharp Point offers amazing views of the area with only an hour of hiking. While prepping for church a few weeks ago, Matt & I got a call from Bernie & Martha (Matt's uncle & aunt). Though they also attend the same church as we do, they were seizing the day to visit Peaks of Otter. Since neither of us had ever visited this local landmark, we decided to seize the day too. "Carpe Summit!"

After a breakfast of (southern) champions... if it ain't salted, fried, or served on a biscuit the size of my face, it ain't food (sigh) we decided to ride the shuttle bus to the top. This is typically not our style, but we were testing it for Bernie's mom and didn't want to spend the rest of the day on the trail.

The 15 minute ride was great (obviously) and then we hiked the last 15 minutes to the summit. Here's some pictures from our day, the visibility was good, but not great.

this just makes me want to sing praise songs from the 70's

the turtle climbing to the top

My favorite view (everyday)

Corny, but cute...

Goofing around & scaring me to death!

Week in review: Diets suck & widows bite

2007-10-03T18:41:00.000-05:00

DIET'S SUCK
Saturday evening was spent around the campfire with Matt's family. I was sticking with the 1-2-3 plan pretty well, considdering we had guests and I'm still working late.

After my tasty sandwich (yes, I was still in the plan), I enjoyed a few handfulls of chips... and 7 layer dip (not in the plan). then came the kids and their smores. So I had two of those. Yummm... I called it quits. I had been bad, but those had been my only smores all summer!

Then (oh, yes) they announced that dessert was available. Say what?! So I tasted the autumn crisp. Bad idea, Alicia! After 2 full scoops of that, I went in to wash my hands. There was my dear NH friend, Veronica, enjoying a slice of chocolate-pumpkin cake. What the heck, right? So the morning after I was feeling guilty. Don't you just hate guilt.

Getting on the scale I felt decent about the progress I had made-- just one major binge in the past two weeks. And wouldn't you know it-- 4 lbs heavier. I was mad. I was mad at myself and at the (formerly-cool) orange wrap skirt that now made me look like a pumpkin. So I tried a new, relaxed look. 10 minutes later I was crying and looking for consolation in Matt's lap. (FYI: he hates it when I cry, and even more when he gets wet with my tears.. it's the ultimate turn-OFF). So after a 45 minute dressing/crying session, I was ready to go to church.

Then the cruelty--after church, we went thru Burger King's drive through. They forgot to give me a fork, so I stopped in to KFC for some utensils. KFC only has one utensil: the spork. Ever eat salad with a spork? It was a first for me. Speaking of firsts...

WIDOW SPIDERS HAVE A VENOMOUS BITE

And we saw one hanging out in the home office above the computer area last night. So how do you kill one of those?! It was above the desk (and all the pc wires) along the ceiling. I wanted to vacuum the thing up, but Matt was determined to do it another way. I've got it on video... too funny. So after we moved it from the ceiling to the floor, smashed it, and disposed of the body, we checked the house for any more creepy things.

What are the odds? We found a dead (non-venomous) spider between the sheets. Eeewww... so we slept with the sheets very tight around us last night. We are still unsure about what to do next. I hate to use a pesticide around the house, but they seem to be moving in. As long as snakes stay away... (shudder)

Today's thoughts--at random

2007-09-15T09:33:00.000-05:00

Yay! I don't care how pathetic it is, but we women will always love to be "taken out." Perhaps it goes all the way back to our hedonistic roots when women were both gods and rulers. (Please laugh--I'm only kidding) Seriously; any reason to fluff our feathers and feel important is a boost to our self esteem.

So, I had the idea to go out to the local cafe for breakfast. After a week like this one, it was a pleasure to set out for breakfast with sunny, 70 degree weather. We enjoyed breakfast sandwiches, cappucino (the real kind), and a cinnamon roll--yum! And there's a local wine festival today that I fully intend to indulge in.

This morning when I woke up, I decided to take the first steps in loosing the 15 lbs that have recently settled in my boobs and middle. But my WORD!!! My boobs have never looked so big, and that's kinda nice. If only I could have the best of both worlds. Matt says he's going to buy me a durndle (one of those german jumpers that women wear with 1/2 their breasts on display). I'll see if I can find a good example of one on-line for you. Up, here's one! http://www.willisms.com/archives/dirndl.gif Hee hee hee.

So, here's the plan: 1-2-3-4

1) ONE desert-like dish per day (or 7 each week, cause I may want to splurge on weekends)

2) TWO servings of starch/bread per day. Cereal counts as one, if it's All Bran.

3) THREE sessions of exercise per week. At least 30 mins each.

4) FOUR new items of clothing (fancy shoes are my ultimate goal) when I've lost the weight.

5 lbs= new shirt,

10 lbs= new fancy pants,

15= new shoes + a cashmere sweater for holiday time

We work hard for the Money

2007-09-14T19:33:00.000-05:00

"...So hard for it, Honey.

We work hard for the money,

so you better treat us right!"

So, my new job is a real God-send. The people are fun (crazy, but fun) and work seems more like keeping the family business going, rather than lining someone else's wallet. Have you ever felt that way? It's a yucky feeling, and not one sensed at Eagle Pointe.

Funny how God works it all out, even when there seems no end to the frustration and the dusty road ahead holds no promises.

Why do I forget that God is good?

The past few weeks have been so dynamic... it's the start of new things--in work, in marriage, in friendships, in general.

Matt & I signed-up for "10 Great Dates to Improve Your Marriage." Once a month, we meet with other couples for generalized discussion on how to make it better, then disperse for a date in which to implement discussed skills, etc. So far, we really like it... and get to discover the area to boot!
I started my new job and am working about 60 hrs/week. Hello, overtime! It is crazy now because of the events that the developer is hosting, but by Thanksgiving, the office will be very quiet, and my hours shouldn't be like this for too much longer. The BIG event is October 5-7, and then I'll just be keeping the closings smooth--like butta.
The crock pot creations are endless! Tonite's dish? Golabki ("little doves," the polish term for stuffed cabbage leaves.) Because I'm not heading home from work until 9pm. Next week? Bean soups galore! ANy ideas you want to share? The crock pot must be able to cook on low for 8 hours at least.

So, anyhew... plenty going on. I just wish I wasn't sitting on my butt for 12 hours a day. But I've brought an exercise ball (64 cm) to work as my chair. It's much better, and the puns are endless. You can only imagine:

Alicia is "on the ball"
"on top of things"
keeping things rollin'

I miss you all. Please post a comment so I know you are all still with me in spirit.

My Two Week Notice

2007-08-27T20:32:00.000-05:00

Today I had an interview and landed a job that should work out very nicely. Check out the development that I will be representing as a (real estate) closing coordinator.

www.eaglepointshores.com

So I'll have to turn in my Wal-Mart name badge and rejoin the real estate world. It's going to be a fast ride... the company is really taking off! And it looks as though there's quite a lot of growth potential for this position.

I was so surprised by the whole thing that (as I was backing out of the parking lot) I forgot to take the sun screens out of my windshield. Hooo-eee! Then I came home to make a delicious celebratory dinner. Have you ever grilled polenta? Melissa's Organic Tomato-Basil is delicious with roasted red peppers and a drop of pesto. Top it off with a simple salad and velvety Cabernet Savignon--delicious!

So I'll let you know how the journey goes from here... I start training tomorrow.

Those screaming children you see at Wal-Mart

2007-08-14T20:42:00.000-05:00

Hmmm, I hear them throughout the day. Thankfully, the toy dept is across the store... I rarely witness a tantrum over fresh fruits or veggies. Wouldn't this world be different if more children made a fuss for the sake of organic peaches? LOL

Well, this weekend I will get a break from the local Superstore to go home for a wedding. My dear high school buddy is getting married and I will be a bridesmaid. Then my mom will accompany me back to Virginia for a five day visit.

I am very excited to visit old friends and be a part of Stephanie & Shiloh's wedding. Together, they are: Stephaloh. I'll be helping to decorate the cupcake cake stand and cakes... which should be a bunch of fun. My mom is also taking me to the salon for a haircut and pedicure. I think my last hair cut was in March and the summer has been brutal on my feet. We'll be traveling by train, which always makes me feel like Rosemary Clooney in White Christmas, or something. Hopefully, it won't involve an unruly toddler or teething babe.

Tonight, Matt & I attended a home Bible study with a few young families. In the room with us were two youngsters in the beginning stages of walking. Within one hour, there must have been 20 falls, 30 crying spells, countless handprints made on th glass door and one broken coffee mug. It was almost facinating. Like, "Wow, that kid's gonna fall AGAIN?!" or "Hmmm, you'd think after she fell 10 times that she would stop crying or stop trying." Sort of like a British comedy, in that sad ironic sense. It made me think this thought, which I will leave you with:

"A girl has hit menses--does that mean she's ready for sex?
A woman is married--does this mean she's ready for children?"

Just for the record, I do not attempt to declare that I shall stay childless for a lifetime...
just for as long as possible (wink, wink)!

Where did I leave off?

2007-08-09T08:54:00.000-05:00

Dear Friends,
Well, we are settled-in, enjoying the house and all the quirks that Virginia has to offer. Lots has happened recently, so I'll be as "to-the-point" as possible.

1st day in the house: August 1 (I think) As soon as we moved the stuff in, we put 2 window AC units. We're using ceiling fans to move the cooling affect around the house, and the basement is a naturally cooler place also. Here's some pics of the house.

We found it comical to hear the words "cold front" and "85 degrees" in the same sentence. (Yes... the local weather man actually said that.) We would love some 85 degree weather! This evening we retreated to the bedroom, shut the door and turned the ceiling fan on high!! The temperature is starting to feel somewhat "normal" and yet it is still 80 degrees in here! Tomorrow is supposed to be the hottest one this week. The thermometer on the back of the house registered 127 today. (That's because of the brick and direct sun.) It just hits you like a steaming towel when you step outside.

You can visit our photo album to see some of the pics of our new place. (see Picasa link in the list at right)

Getting Settled In

2007-06-29T15:11:00.000-05:00

Hey friends! The move was very successful, though the details are always full of stress. Ergh... We've been here 2 weeks and the house is really starting to feel like a home, rather than a refugee camp. Ugh, but what I would do for a little AC action. the house feels like a heat box... and we have to wait until after Monday to use the electricity. Motrin, ice coffee and ice cream have been wonderful crutches along the way. Each day is a new adventure. Today I visited the local DMV, post office, and Peebles (just to look around... but they were having a 4th of July sale). Today I began setting-up the kitchen. Tomorow I will finish painting the bathroom.

No businesses have contacted me about the applications that I've submitted, but I'm just impatient, that's all. Matt started working for his cousin yesterday and really likes it. I'm so proud of him--he's given all his energy to this new job/house/life endeavor. He's been very supportive of me and honest about how he feels and what he thinks. But recently we've been so tired/drained that conversations are short and sleep time is early (not much quality time, either). But this is just a part of the big picture, and I'm feeling very positive about the whole thing. His family has been a huge help, too. They've even given me lots of their garden fresh veggies to enjoy!!!

We live in a predominently afro-american neighborhood, and I laugh at my whiteness on a regular basis. Our neighbors, Robert & Bernadine, have been very friendly and welcoming. We've had to use their toilet or a borrow a small tool a couple of times, and Robert walks right-up to the back door to check in on us when he gets home from work.

I'll get some pictures and updated info onto the blog soon, but having no quality internet access available ANYWHERE has severely crippled me.
Okay. I'm done whining. I love you all and miss your encouraging, familiar faces. Enjoy this weekend, and if you take any Motrin, drink any ice coffee, or enjoy any ice cream... think of us!

A DeWever Update: 18 days

2007-05-28T08:50:00.000-05:00

It's been a whirl wind weekend. Right now I'm surrounded by boxes, computer parts, a Victrola's records (that smell so awesome), and feeling overwhelmed-again.

A week ago we bought the fridge, yesterday we bought a stove, selected stuff for the kitchen and washed the car. It doesn't seem like a lot, but two hours in Home Depot and another 2 in Lowes was almost my undoing!! And I get a knot in my stomach whenever I spend big money, like the price of a frig or stove. Argh...

18 days until work is done and we pack the truck to head south. Many plans have been made, changed, canceled, and rescheduled. Chaos seems the default, and I'm slightly uptight-- and reminded of the Exodus. The Jews wanting to flee Egypt, and then once reality hit they complained and wanted the old life back. Aren't we fickle?

I'm going to apply for a barista position at Starbucks, keeping my eyes open to the career job market, but honestly... Strabucks is looking pretty good right now :) Excellent benefits, coffee...

Through it all, John & Priscilla have been angels... no, saints!! They will go down to VA with us, stay for a week of renovation/kitchen installation and be a general labor team. Matt will begin work at the store ASAP and I'll be filing resumes all over creation. We've got about 1/2 of our stuff packed, the rest is clothing, entertainment, and bulk furniture. I'm just so glad it's summer and I can open the door and get fresh air whenever I need it. God is in the breezes here.

Saturday!

2007-05-26T18:20:00.000-05:00

Matt & I were able to sleep in, get some errands done & tackle the gardens...
enjoy a tiny tour of 343 Depot Street:

2007-05-08T08:48:00.000-05:00

It's so crazy!
I've never really wanted to call God a "go getter,"
but it seems too accurate these days.

About two years ago, Matt was talking about moving to Virginia, because of the cost of living, having family there and wanting a break from New England. I suggested we not relocate unless a job opportunity called for it. So I prayed that God would give Matt a job he loved in Va. Well, after some time we figured that NH was probably our calling, and started to settle in. We looked at land, looked for solid jobs, and then about three weeks ago, Chris mentioned that wanted to employ Matt. Chris is Matt's elder cousin. A real solid guy who can't pass up a good opportunity. He owns a landscape supply store south of Lynchburg, VA, manages several rental properties, has 5 young kids, a farm, and loves to buy & flip real estate.

So we decide to move. We've visited the area, prayed about it, and have a perfect peace about the whole thing. His grandparents offered to let us stay the summer in their home (in the same town as the store) and then we were going to move into a duplex with remodeling work in exchange for rent.

Wow... Chris called us Friday night with more news: a house! Chris was going to buy & flip it, but now wants to sell it to us instead--at cost. It's a foreclosure in really good shape and only 1.5 miles from the store where Matt will be working (he just might actually WALK to work) and a gem at $70,000. A little over 1,000 Sq Ft on a dead-end road, with homes on only one side, overlooking the valley below. Three bedrooms (one's an office at 9x9), one full bath, a full walk-out basement, and less than an acre to deal with (yay). As with most homes of it's time, it's most beautiful interior design element is wood paneling (eeewww), but there are hard floors throughout.

As of this point, we'll be using the basement for storage and repainting, etc while we live at the Chute's second home for the summer. We'll be buying one appliance per month for a bit, too. And while I hoped to avoid the job market for a bit, the mortgage payments require me to be employed full-time (hopefully with benefits too).

So big things are happening. I sprained my ankle two days ago when I fell down the stairs at Mountain House. I'll be off from work Thurs-Sun, with the Pemi concerts this weekend. Then we'll have about a month before the official move takes place. Our last days at work coincide with the last day of school (June 15), and we hope to stop-over in CT en route to VA. We'll be busier than ever, especially with Luke's visit and Steph's wedding. And I need a job. So I just tell God to "do His thing" whenever I seem overwhelmed.

Time to Face the Strange Changes

2007-04-29T17:18:00.000-05:00

Matt & I have been offered a fabulous opportunity in central Virginia... and recently visited the area to see if it would work for us. We had a great time, and even made time to visit college amigo, Jason Berrus, in Washington D.C. on the way back home. Check out our photos, and read on below for details about our upcoming plans!

Alicia breaks with Susanne, Abigail & Leona Germeroth
The local kids had a lot of one-on-one time

Matt's cousin owns River Valley Resources, a farm supply store in Alta Vista, Virginia, just 20 minutes from Liberty University. He's recently decided that he needs more time to commit to his family of six, the family farm, his rental properties, etc... and offered Matt the job of managing the store. This is a cool chance for Matt to use his skill in retail and management. It is also an answer to prayer regarding where God would take us next. The decision to move is not too difficult, either.

Matt has significant family in the VA area, the church scene is awesome (REALLY awesome), and living is so cheap (REALLY cheap). There are a lot of placement homes in the area too, which will give me a lot of opportunities to continue my "career." As long as I can find a job with significant benefits, we'll be all set.

So, yeah, we're moving! June 15th is our final days at work in New Hampshire, and then we're putting our stuff into storage until the end of Summer. We'll be living in Matt's grandparents' winter home until September/October, and then have another rent-free opportunity open after that.

I hate that this is being posted before I talk to many of you, but God has been taking us into fast-forward mode, giving us LOTS of chances to trust Him in all things. We will try to keep you all up-to-date over the next 6 weeks... this is just so exciting!!

FYI: We are not going through with the land purchase, because there was a huge weird factor in the easement deed that could have cost us an additional $5,000 without warning. Yikes!

Quiet Time

2007-04-09T09:01:00.000-05:00

I'm taking some time this morning to be still.

There's so much going on in my head-- if I don't slow down to be with God, I'll work myself crazy, lonely & deaf to the Holy Spirit's leading. Just sitting down to reflect on His goodness is refreshing.

There are so many testaments to His unfailing love & protection, to name a few...

Laura & Dave's new-born daughter is finally home! And what a beautiful baby Arianna is!!
And work isn't giving me fits of anxiety anymore (unless I let go of faith and cling to imaginary thinking). We've got a long way to go, but NESCT is slowly getting organized again.
Matt & I had a really solid 4 day weekend. We tiled his parents' bathroom, had a lot of good talks, and committed ourself to several new goals. More dinners at the table (instead of on the couch in front of TV) and a renewed financial mindset. Pinch every penny twice! Embrace Ramen!

This moment of quiet is good. God reminds me that life isn't as complicated as we make it out to be. His foreknowledge makes my planning, list making, and schedules obsolete. His grace dwarfs the pettiness of each daily frustration. His Word erases my doubt and replaces it with faith. Joyce Meyers says,"Do it afraid."
So I leave this quiet place on the couch, mindful that Christ lives for me, in me, and through me. He delights in my praises and in my tears of submission. He delights in me when I avoid sarcasm and social digs. When colleagues get pithy and I want to join them, Christ will be there.
In two days I'll be a house parent again, for a week straight. You can pray that this His Spirit of calm will dominate my heart's attitude. Because when the boys at Mountain House need a friend and a mom, Christ will be there.

Easter 2007

2007-04-08T11:44:00.000-05:00

Happy Easter!

We had a lovely fresh batch of snow fall this week, and it's snowing now. So goodbye to the brown lawns of two weeks ago... oh well, at least the ground isn't still frozen solid.

We've been keeping a watchful eye on the real estate market, and recently found a 6 acre parcel with amazing potential just 10 minutes from where we are living now! After some hemming & hawing, we looked into financing. We contacted our trusty real estate professional for her expert advice, and hemmed a bit more.

Hold fast to dreams,
For if dreams die,
Life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams,
For if dreams die,
Life is a barren field frozen with snow”
~Langston Hughes

So we made an offer, went through a few hoops, and are now in a real estate agreement!!! How crazy! You can check it out by clicking on the photo to the left of Hughes' poem.

There are so many unanswered questions that we have right now, and we'd REALLY like the snow to melt so we can get a decent understanding of the ground quality. Next up:

Financing approval
Finding about $5,000 more for a better down payment
Figuring out the best way to start living on the property
Trusting the LORD with ALL of our heart
Getting through each step like the mature adults we claim to be.

Our German Vacation

2007-03-09T08:22:00.000-05:00

Click on the post title to see more of our photos.

What a great time we just had in Germany with Kristi Walker! Seven days in another country is never long enough. It seems we had just enough time to figure out what we should do next time we're there! We arrived at Tegel International Airport in Berlin, Germany on Saturday the 24th of February at 9 am.
Kristi was anxious to go sight-seeing as the skies were crystal clear. (We found out later how rare that is in Germany this time of year!) She put us on a bus tour of Berlin immediately and we saw so much in the first 3 hours of being in the country. Later that evening, her team mates fed us dinner and took us to IKEA. We were able to get new salt and pepper mills, as ours were accidentally destroyed.
The next day, we spent relaxing and with Kristi at her church. And, on Monday, we rented a car in Potsdam, outside of Berlin. We drove from Berlin and saw Wittenburg on our way to Bavaria. That night we stayed at the Best Western, Hotel Holledau and on Tuesday we drove a little way south to Munich. It was amazing. The whole experience was a bit surreal yet overwhelmingly unforgettable.

Springbreak in Germany

2007-01-21T17:11:00.000-05:00

Well, it's official!

We bought out tickets to Tegel Airport just after Christmas and are really looking forward to some time away from the USA.

Work for Alicia has been out of control and Matt has been experiencing the joys of public school a little too much. Somedays it feels like the world is too evil to exist much longer. And the kids we work with have bought into the Hellish system.

Three weeks until February break; I'm trying to not get too excited. But it will be so cool to see Matt experience Europe for the first time. We've been working on our German language skills, but still struggle with even the basics. The motivation is there, but the energy isn't.

Don't worry, we're not depressed! Just digesting a little too much reality. Maybe a trip to Germany in winter will cure us of the blues! Ah yes, taking in all the historical sights of WW2 and basking in Beer. May it be the best vacation yet!!! We actually looked into tickets for a more pleasant month, but the prices were scarry.

Wish us luck, we leave for Boston Airport on February 23rd.

Home for the Holidays

2007-01-20T12:38:00.000-05:00

Horkey Christmas 2006
Direct to you from Spring Fed Farm!

Here we are with 6 month-old Gunnar

Nap time for everyone

My Dad is a natural (look at the face!)

The big kids take some time out for Bocce

Luke & I demonstrate good sportmanship

New Wheels

2007-01-07T21:53:00.000-05:00

The 16 mile loop up Stinson Mountain has been taking its toll on our little Jetta. The rough terrain and winter conditions demand a vehicle with 4x4 capability. We have decided to exchange Matt's '97 Toyota Camry for a 2002 Ford Explorer (2 door sport). The price is right and the monthly payments won't hinder us from paying off school loans by June. If all goes as planned, we'll pick up the Ford Tuesday night after work.

I can't believe I'll be the owner of an SUV. How humbling.

But the fuel economy is better than I estimated. And my eco-sensitivity will be pacified because the Jetta will still be the travel car.

Year End Remarks

2006-12-30T14:58:00.000-05:00

Appologies are useless if not followed by action. So I'm sorry for not keeping you all up-to-date on the DeWevers; here's the last three months in review.

The Bathroom Do-Over

You might well remember our Carribbean themed bathroom, but it is gone now. Currently we are in a holding pattern until time allows for us to put tile down and finish with the smaller details. Our tub started to crack (because of poor bracing below) and water was leaking down into the kitchen. Not good. In the process of choosing a new tub, we were persuaded to repaint and install ceramic tile, rather than linoleum stick-downs. Well, you can imagine how much more really needed attention. Now the whole bathroom has been reinsulated, replumbed, repainted, and the floor awaits.
The new bathroom will look very bland and woodsy, for selling appeal.

November 2006 was a blur.

The cats (Mojo & Kona) were neutered and spayed, the Jetta got new tires, and the bathroom turned into a demolition site. We went out to eat more often, because work seemed relentless and time together came so rarely. A welcome diversion was the wedding of my girlhood best friend, Nina. It was a beautiful wedding and a great chance to catch-up with high school pals.

December 2006
Matt & I attempted to simplify Christmas by making it a 12 gift limit between the two of us. We reinstated The Twelve Days of Christmas, thereby lengthening the holiday and making it less overwhelming. I really wanted to set a limit on the holiday spending, and we had a great time creating new memories. Besides the 12 Days of Christmas, here are a few:

Spending Christmas Eve & Christmas morning with the kids at NESCT (Our first experience setting out gifts "for the kids")

Meeting our new nephew, Gunnar, for the first time: six months old and sooo cool

New Year's Eve with the kids at NESCT. (Again, Matt & I were together) We spent New Year's Day playing Monopoly. Thank God for Matt... it was the Here and Now version.

I could show you all kinds of pictures,
but I'm doing well to just get the details out there. Sorry.

Happy New Year!

Halloween Night

2006-11-01T08:11:00.000-05:00

The Beauty Queen & The Clown
(I was going for a mom,
but was told Mom's don't even have time to use curlers)

The Set-up was CREEPY...

The visitors were great!
This is Matt's cousin, Veronica Myles & her two boys:
Aiden was a Hunter
Lane was a Bear

A nice quiet night, with plenty of candy left over.

Has it been a month?!

2006-10-24T13:32:00.000-05:00

This is just a smattering of September/October events, thoughts, etc...

In random order:

We met up with Meegan & Mike, old friends from college, for some mini golf & lunch. Good times, we should do things like this more often.

Alicia did another week on the Mountain with a house full of six teenagers, oye! If I had a magic wand to make those kids' lives easier, I'd wave it around non-stop. Funny annecdote: I was actually told by 15 yr-old TR that I was "too uncool" to be with him in Olympia Sports, where he intended to buy new sneakers. This was really funny, because I had the money, too bad TR. I hope Salem finds more employees soon, this Res Coordinator didn't sign up for the 24/7 parenting job.

Our choral society continues to provide Matt with surplus geriatric exposure. Can you imagine being the president of a choir whose average age is 65? They are so dear, but sometimes we just want to scream.

On that note, Matt & I went to NY to visit Grampa & Nana Chute over the weekend. I was a little melodramatic, having just completed a hell week with above said boys, and was also enjoying a fabulous hormonal flux. Poor Matt! We had good down-time and were also able to catch a couples' weekend session at the WOL Inn. It's always good to be reminded of the things you know. It was so well timed, too. We've been pretty pooped lately, or should I say poopey? http://www.ortlund.org/homepage.html is the website of this couple who specialize in marriage counseling. Really cool, down-to-earth, and funny too. It was such a non-WOLBI meeting. I loved it!

More thoughts about going back to school, but no answers to any of the questions. I don't want to start having children until one or both of us has a trade or a Masters Degree. Call me crazy, but we intend to parent our children, not pass them off onto others while we make money to pay them for the God-given privaledge. (Does that sound cynical? It's not meant to be.) We don't want to be rich, but content with what God provides through one income. As it stands, we aren't really set-up for that yet.

Our debt is slowing thinning out, so we are earnestly looking for affordable land in the area, but it's very over-inflated at the moment. We know God will work it all out, so the main thing is to take care of one goal at a time.

Pay off the loans (car & school)
Save for the unattainable nest egg
School (more loans)
Kids

I've started praying more. God was really slipping from my daily schedule, which is not because I'm too busy, but because I'm always thinking about me (not Him or His will). My list, my life, my plans, my problems, me, me, me. I, I, I. Yeah, well, I'd had enough of shouldering that load of s_ _ _ . It's all crap compared to His freedom, God's provision. His yoke. Even writing the words makes Him bigger to me. And me smaller. I like that.

Really Living

2006-09-26T08:09:00.000-05:00

On Septmeber 13th, approximately two weeks ago, I began my first week of house parenting. Meadow House, one of the three houses for kids at Salem Children's Village became my home from Wednesday to the following Wednesday. My partner for the week was a great help, a veteran at the job. We laughed a lot, sighed a lot, and shared bits and pieces from our pasts while helping 5 teenage boys with ADHD navigate through each day.

I say teenage, but they range in age from 11 to 15. Sometimes they made me want to run screaming through town like a crazy woman, other times I could have just hugged them til they were blue.

JR, TM, JM, CW, & AP made my week one to remember.

They made me remember what it was like to be a kid again. Every adult seeming to know more and have more power than you. And though I wanted to cut them all some serious slack, it just wasn't possible. I had to keep reminding myself that these kids weren't in placement for being normal. They all had serious issues and still were working through them with case workers, astranged parents, and me... from morning to night.

This is the best way I can think of to explain the relationship between a Salem staff & Salem kid:

The kids are broken vessels--utterly shattered in some places and full of cracks everywhere else. Our job is to pour whatever balm of love & life & energy we can into their vessels, waiting. Because one day those cracks will start to be smoothed over, and after more waiting the holes seem smaller. Sadly, their vessels will always show the cracks and where the holes used to be, long after they've moved on. And still we continue pouring as the children cycle through.

In one week with the kids, I became a fuller person. I saw humanity & love from a new perspective. I appreciated my parents more, my brother more, my husband more. I became more confused about boys in general, but had a lot of fun raising a barn, digging a mine shaft, washing cars, and being a taxi service. And as I left campus after seven days of being a parent, I felt guilty about smiling, because I now loved them so much.

Vacation Hopefulls

2006-09-21T10:28:00.000-05:00

The DeWever's new goal:
Be in Germany over Spring Break 2007

Neither of us have ever been to Germany, in fact, our travel together has been limited to our Jamaican honeymoon and recent cruise to the Western Carribean.

So we have the passports, the hookups (a friend has volunteered free lodging & food), and now we need the $$$. The Germany Jar is my attempt to funnell as much loose cash as possible into our Berlin spending money. It's one of those big glass gallon jars the settlers probably used to brew moonshine.

This is my first of many new posts to come in the next few days. I've just returned from a week of parenting five teenage ADHD boys. Now I have a week off before returning to campus. It's a beautiful fall day, so I won't sit at this desk any longer!

I've been working with teenage boys too long, but...

2006-08-25T20:50:00.000-05:00

Hello all. As Alicia mentioned in the last post, I have been working with teenage boys all summer long. It has been a blast! I have learned so much from them and tried to be patient as they begrudgingly made it through each day. They have made me laugh so much... and because I know you are all wondering why Bessy is the picture for this post I feel I should share one of their "humdingers."

Q: Do you know why they call it P.M.S. ?

A: Because "Mad Cow" disease was already taken!!

Yeah, I know, the joke's a little juvenile, but you have to picture me driving a 14 passenger white bus loaded with boys at 55 mph while it was told. I'm supposed to be a role model, right? I had all I could do to keep my composure, let alone try to tell them that it was inappropriate and they shouldn't be telling it! We're all lucky that little white bus isn't wrapped around some telephone pole in upstate NH!!!!

Oh dear. It has been a loooooooooooooooooong week.

What is Matt up to these days?

2006-08-22T20:07:00.000-05:00

Matt 's been very busy, cashing in on the summer you might say. We've gone through a lot of changes these past few months and Matt has been at the helm keeping our little ship sailing along. When we realized that real estaste was more of a necesary evil than a DeWever enterprise, Matt began to investigate new paths.

When he first started college at BBC, teaching was his declared major... but he saw too many die-cuts and too much of Mrs. Schwartz! He transitioned into Pre-Seminary/Greek/Hospitality and was happy. But he is a natural teacher and has a wonderful demeanor with kids, so when real estate was slow he did some substitute teaching for extra cash. Well... Matt really enjoyed himself (not the 1st and 2nd graders though) in the public school! He applied to be a para-profesional for the up-coming school year at Russell Elementary School (less than 2 miles from the house) and will be a one-on-one aid for a little guy in 6th grade. He starts this new job in two days, and we'll both have weekends free!!!

But what to do for the summer? Both Matt's parents work for Beckett, a school & residential program for at-risk boys in the Central NH area. They knew Matt would fit right in and recommended him for a summer position working in the Rumney House (yes, less than 2 miles from home!) as a counselor. Essentially, he replaced his mom for the summer because she wanted a break.

Voila! Everyone's happy.

So Matt practiced his patience with teenage boys this summer. They did all sorts of fun stuff: hiking, water parks, bowling, moose hunting, you name it! And he really developed a love for the kids & the job. Now it's time for him to move to a public school and he's considdering a Master's Degree in counselling, which can be used in both the public & private sectors. Let's hope this next phase helps solidify that decision.

Kitties

2006-08-22T14:41:00.000-05:00

You may remember that Matt & I were the proud owners of a black kitty named Cole. Well, he's gone. Maybe he went away to prove how much we'd miss him or maybe he fell into the food chain. But it's been over a month, and we miss our snuggly pet. The mice have quickly moved back into their places throughout the house, so we have taken action. These little ones needed a home and were free!

It seems few people prefer black cats.

We'll be getting them ASAP; they are 6 weeks old to date and are so cute and squirley. Now to name them. It's a boy & girl, so here's some things we've considdered, but time will tell...

Fred & Ginger (iffy)
Udon & Sushi (but that would be like Don & Sue, old work
colleages)
Niger & Kona
Joseph & Mary (hah hah hah)
Butt & Itch

In My Spare Time

2006-08-13T21:00:00.000-05:00

An excellent option for escape literature... I've seen the movie, and am nearly through the book. The movie doesn't follow the book too closely, so I've enjoyed the contrast. Both are fantastic stories, but I must admit to the status quo: the book is better than the film. Truth is always better than fiction. And I haven't read a book this delicious in quite some time. FYI: The movie is a little iffy, probably not a good choice for family viewing. Anyone have a suggestion for my next choice?

Recent Thoughts: Relief from the Heat

2006-08-11T14:39:00.000-05:00

This past week in New Hampshire has gotten a lot of people excited for Winter. With 50 degree nights (and colder ones too) we've been given a break from the heat and our mouths are watering for snowflakes already! Most of us just don't like being hot... and the middle of Summer hit us hard! Humidity made the air so thick, some days it was difficult to breath. You can imagine the moodiness at home & work. Yuck.

And it was at that time of the summer that I started my new job. When I came onto the picture, a newly appointed manager had taken 4 months to make everyone on the Village campus miserable. He side-stepped authority, ignored company policy, broke promises, and manipulated staff. Very few could walk past his door without sneering or baring their teeth! My supervisor was absolutely paranoid and stressed over the man, so my first week was like walking on egg shells--but I didn't think the situation would continue much longer. Praise God--in my second week he was fired! And the weather started to cool off. Now it's been my third week here and the entire staff is shedding the negativity like old skin. Last night, I wore wool socks and flannel pants to bed. We probably won't close the windows until October. It's windy, sunny, and the leaves aren't due to change for two months. So we'll probably get a few more weeks of heat, but bring it on! God's given us the gift of physical, emotional, and spiritual renewal. Yes, I really like this job (especially now that So-and-s0 is gone) but the things I'm learning have yet to be explained to you. Keep me in your prayers, because there's a lot that God is teaching me lately.

There's a new baby in the family!

2006-07-23T19:55:00.000-05:00

Gunnar Matthew Horkey was born to Luke & Michelle Horkey on July 20th (last Thursday). It was two weeks earlier than expected, but in less than an hour, he made the trip from womb to fresh air. He's a quick little guy. At roughly 7.5 pounds, with brown hair and beautiful newborn eyes, Gunnar is doing very well. Michelle is doing well also, and Luke is as proud as a man can be. Congratulations all around!

~Auntie Sal & Matt

My New Job

2006-07-18T21:09:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I'm still in the "Honeymoon Stage" at the Salem Village, but I absolutely love, love, love it! Yes, the kids are a challenge, but I''m not a direct care provider... so it's not too crazy.

The Salem Children's Village in Rumney, NH is a housing/treatment facility for boys with ADD or ADHD. There are Salem Children's Villages throughout the world, and in other states (Virginia, Washington). They began in Germany, after WW2 for displaced and orphaned children. Since that time, Salem Children's Villages became more focused on children with specific issues, but ADD & ADHD are the foundational problems required for state funding at our campus.

My position at Salem is as Residential Coordinator Assistant. I'm the support staff member for 10 house parents. The house parents work in male-female teams for alternating weeks (living with the boys) and provide direct care, discipline, and house duties. There is a ratio of 1 staff to 3 kids, but some of the guys require full-coverage at all times. My job is to assist the houses in geting supplies they need, setting-up appointments, and helping with closure after crisis issues. In short, I am a link between the house parents and the Director/President. I sit in all treatment meetings, reinforce boundaries, and help bring each Salem child closer toward their treatment goals.

I love the people. Everyone is focused on giving the kids a solid foundation of consistancy. Some have everything money can buy, but are still in need of a separate, safe home life. We've got kids coded with everything from ADD to Oppositional Defiancy Disorder, clinical depression, bipolar, self-injurious, etc. Many have been sexually assaulted, whether in foster homes or by family members. They range in age from 8-18, but most are in their pre-teens right now (fun, right?).

I've had such peace about working here. Most of my colleages are like me: granola/crunchy psych majors with high ideals. The Administrative staff are slightly high strung, but everyone else is super mellow and low-key. They are considdered "the hippies on the hill." Is this not the perfect fit for me?

To close, here is a list of historical and comtemporary celebs most likely to have struggled with the same issues as our salem kids (names in red = vegetarians) :

John F Kennedy
Leonardo daVinci
Cher
Napoleon Bonaparte
Bill Clinton
Albert Einstein
Bill Cosbie
Winston Churchill
Harry Belafonte
Henry Ford
Walt Disney
Louis Pasteur
Robin Williams
Dwight D Eisenhower
Jim Carey
John Lennon

Time to Reflect

2006-07-17T18:22:00.000-05:00

Well...
There are reasons I haven't said anything for the past month (or so). I've been busy, in an unatural, life-changing sort of way. With the decision to change jobs, my butt emediately needed to shimmy around Old Mill Properties to get the real estate office ready for a transition. While there, I had completely changed my job decription. To simplify the story, I had become a super-secretary, cape not included. Now I needed to streamlline the office so someone could step into the position with as much ease as possible. This meant reorganizing a series of filing cabinets, helping the boss move into a new office, and keeping evryone happy meantime... then came training the new girl. Betty is a wonderful 63 yr-old lady and after a week of training, she's doing pretty well. Though it may take her longer to get the jobs done, she's got a great attitude!

Then came the move. John & Prisciulla invited us to move back in, share the property care, and save-up for that eventual nest egg. Cool, right? So for the last week, we've re-painted and completely moved back in to 343 Depot Street. What a ride! Thankfully, my mom came up and helped me out, 'cause Matt had to work some serious hours at the same time.

Today, I started my new job. The hottest day of the year thus far, and though everyone was pretty miserable without AC, I was privaleged to take one of our students to the hospital in a VW Cabriolet convertible. The little guy wasn't exactly an angel, but he did pretty well. I'll tell you more about these kids later, when I've had more time to process their sad stories.

So life is back in order. The house has taken on a whole new clean style (think Cottage Living) My husband is back to a normal work schedule, I've got a nice 9-5, and New Hampshire is just as beautiful as it gets.

Maine Adventure

2006-06-13T20:48:00.000-05:00

Matt & I spent this past Sunday with our dear friend, Meegan Pratt. "Meegs" was a roomate in college, a fellow drama-geek, and we took many of the same communication classes.

We both like cheese, too.

Are we a great duo or what?! It was a beautiful day (finally) and a great chance for Matt & I to get away together. We caught up with the day-to-day stuff, spent 2 hours walking the beach... a great de-stressor, and then took up a game of mini-golf. AS you may see, I am not in the golfing photo. That is because I do not have a competitive bone for sports. I'd much rather keep score and save $8 for a nice big sundae.

I won't tell you who won the game, but it was very close, and very fun! After all the sun and fresh air, it was time for a bit of ice cream and then to Meegan's house to prep for dinner. Yummy! It was way past dark when we left Sanford, Maine. As we drove away, we were all thinking the same thing: why do we wait so long to catch up with dear friends?

Some Clear Answers to Prayer

2006-05-27T08:59:00.000-05:00

Many of you know that our first year of marriage was spent in a duplex situation with Matt's parents. It is a wonderfully large house, and so to share it was not a big deal. Our side had 2 bedrooms, a full bath, kitchen and living/dining room. We also had access to the attic, where a lot of our "stuff" still sits today. It was a wonderful first year for us. Last summer we fledged from the nest into a little basement apartment while Matt worked out his Real Estate estate training. After 9 months of living with 6' ceilings (I'm 5', 8" and Matt is 6') we moved into another unit in the same apartment complex. Now that our yr-lease is up, we are moving again!

John & Priscilla (Matt's parents) are deciding the big house a big burden, and have asked us if we'd like to move back! We would help with property maintenance & utilities (as we did before). Priscilla & I will now have shared use of the kitchen, but with separate pantries. This is going to be a great time for us!

We have begun to investigate into new jobs within 10 miles of the house, and it looks as though we've hit gold!

We will begin moving things gradually, but there is plenty of time for that. Our lease expires July 15th. We look forward to this, our 3rd move in a year, because it really exposes our need for less. And less, as they say, is MORE.

There are new job possibilities on the horizon too... I'll keep you all up-to-date.

Little Italy

2006-05-23T11:49:00.000-05:00

Last night we had some friends over for dinner and I went... where few non-Italians dare to tread:

Pasta from Scratch!

Yes, friends, and it was Gnoccis

Gnocci, also known as ghochi or even topini ("field mice") are a solid potato dumpling about 1" square. They can be served with any type of sauce, but I always stick with a marinara as it is low sugar, low fat, high flavor & very bistro-like.

Though it took longer to make from scratch, (They are typically sold in vacume-sealed plastic and cost about $3.50 for a pithy amount) they were soooo yummy. Italians considder this pasta a comfort food, as the potato is really filling. I was worried that the pasta would be too heavy, but it was so perfect. I'll need more practice to make them look as pretty as the picture here. Mine looked more like homemade dumplings.

Will I ever make them again? Yes, but only for a special occasion when I have at least four people for dinner. But I considder this a landmark occassion. Only those non-Italians who long for Rome's kitchens can understand this milestone. Ciao.

Our Little Piece of Heaven (Despite the rain)

2006-05-18T21:22:00.000-05:00

Welcome to 18 Riverside Ave, Ashland, NH Apt #6

Lilacs are in full bloom here,
and the warm Spring air is gettin' all us Yanks a twitter.

----------------------------------------------------------

This is our Living room & office area. While I type this,
the Squam river meanders along Riverside Ave.

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This is our library & philosophy room.
Where all true thought & education begins.

------------------------------------------------------------------

The kids' room.

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Cole says thay everyone is welcome to visit...
as long as they share the couch!

What Really Burns Me

2006-05-13T09:13:00.000-05:00

Matthew 23: 27-28

"How terrible it will be for you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees, Hypocrites! You are like whitwashed tombs--beautiful on the outside but filled on the inside with dead people's bones and all sorts of impurity. You try to look like upright people outwoardly, but inside your hearts are filled with hypocrisy and lawlessness."

Salvation is freedom,
not bondage to a system of compulsory compliance.

I recently chatted with a friend who'se going through some rough times... and sadly, I had to endure another story of the church's legalisms. How God must mourn for those whom he has freed, yet choose to live by a standard never designed for Gentiles. Why does this system keep reproducing?! We both know the reason... I was a part of the same thought group. Though never taught it in from podiums or the pulpit, I adopted an over-simplified perspective of God, and therefore of Salvation.

It is how we teach children, and how we as children best understood life:
Good vs. Bad
Right vs. Wrong
Happy vs. Sad
Black vs. White

Sadly, erasing the medium textures of life causes a shallow understanding of who we are as people. This pale world view then, can co-exist with the other systems of thought we pick-up along the way. Like a child who wears floaties along with a life vest, we adopt new truths without examing the ones we still own. I've been there; it's a subtle evil that drains us of joy, but we do not realise this, because we feel good about other things. The things we know.

If I ask you,"What is the opposite of yellow?"
You'd most likely laugh with a reply such as, "That's a silly question!"

So I don't ask questions as often. I stick with the simpleness. Slowly the "silly" questions fade away and the desire for fresh knowledge is covered by a blanket of safe thoughts & ideas. Why are questions without ready answers labbeled with words like: dangerous, subversive, liberal, juvenile, silly? Because traditions ensure a future that is the same. That is safe.

The entire chronology, from Genesis 1:1 to Revelation 22:21 speaks of a God who is wild, radical, and terrible. Completely challenging the systems of His day, Jesus was crucified for subversive thinking and teaching. He exposed the false philosophy, false practices, and false teachers that perced atop podiums and pulpits, spreading the lies even further. They were trying to maintain the traditions, but it was time for change. And God used soft wispers and loud thunder to do it.

Yes, God is in order, but He moves through chaos. He is Light, but He is also in the terrible storm clouds. God is beauty. God is terror. He is in the baby's cry, the widow's cry, and the insane man's cry. He is in the midst of all we don't understand... and that is why we will worship Him until time stands incalculable. He is outside of our systems and laws and human limitations.

But God allows us to incorrectly worship Him, label Him. We posess the freedom to create our own way of living, but we make Him a shallow god. One who only comes alive when dangerous, subversive, liberal, and even silly things are mentioned. God becomes like a 2nd grade teacher who is pleased with good, mature behavior and quiet children. His approval becomes an icon of popularity and status. Did I mention prosperity?

Church legalism is not unlike the Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts who work their way through a system to attain badges, titles, and honor. It morphs from good intentions to just good behavior, and results in homogeneous cliques with degrees of popularity. Jesus chose disciples who were all funky and undeniably unstable, so why do we reinforce Christianity with those non-funkish? We forget that it is God who moves, God who knows, and God who creates.

I was never a Girl Scout, but I acted like one. Thinking my actions were proving my faithfullness and spirituality. I racked-up a lot of badges and paraded them around for all to see, earnestly appologetic that I hadn't reached the finish line yet. In Christ, there is no finish line. There is no contest. The journey isn't a way to compare you & me. It's a journey to discover God, His passion, and the abundant life full of God's passion.

Yes, God is Good. And God is Right. But we overlook the profound point that God IS. We must keep correcting our wrong perspectives of God, salvation, and righteouness. We must, in a sense, "keep it real," before we are abhored by our children and neighbors because of hypocrisy. Let them ask the dangerous questions, let yourself ask the silly questions. We cannot keep clutching the law and still hold onto spiritual freedom.

Family Ties

2006-05-04T20:35:00.000-05:00

Just thought it was time to share some news about the fam...

Mom & Dad Horkey live in Plainfield, CT where they've owned a 13 acre farm for 20 years. On 5 May, they'll celebrate 33 years of marital blis (chuckle, chuckle). Jerry is a 30 yr retired Naval Master Chief. When not at work, he enjoys being back on the water with a fishing pole in hand. Mary spends most of her time working at a local hospital in the Cat Scan Dept. When not harrassing patients, she enjoys her flower gardens and afgan projects for their 1st grandchild.

__________________________________________

Luke & Michelle Horkey. Luke is my younger brother (24 yrs old) and he & Michelle have been married for 2.5 yrs. They live on base at Camp Penelton, San Clemente, CA where Luke is stationed with the Marines. Luke teached infantry classes to new recruits, and Michelle works in out-patient care as a medical assistant. They are expecting their son, Gunner, to be born mid-August.

_____________________________________________

Matt & Alicia DeWever. That's us!

Choices, choices

2006-05-03T11:29:00.000-05:00

What's up with the DeWevers lately?

Well... a little bit of everything. Matt is done with Real Estate and I've been at my current possition for 2 years. While Matt isn't exactly sure what his next job will be, I'm looking into jobs that are directly related to social services. And New Hampshire isn't our Mecca. We've hit a crossroads and are investigating a lot of different paths. Future DeWevers have been put on hold, so as to make our decisions a lot simpler.
ROAD #1: Teach overseas for a year, put all $ toward debt.
ROAD #2: Borrow money from my parents and buy a 2 Bedroom in CT.
ROAD #3: Go back to school (somewhere TBD)
ROAD #4: Stay in NH for another year and pay off the car, school, etc...
ROAD #5: Play it all by ear, planning only as far as September.

Or any combo of the above.

Last weekend we visited my home area, which is alot like central NH. We spent Saturday morning looking at a variety of homes there, to give us an idea of what the market was like. We saw a lot of really great homes, but I don't think we're ready for that yet. We also talked to a friend who taught in Singapore/Taiwan for a few years, getting her perspective and a real sense of options in that schema.

As we drove home, we talked about all the paths before us, and decided that we should stay in NH for another year (ROAD #4) but keep ROAD #5 in mind, in case ROAD #1 becomes a viable choice. hee hee hee

So I'll be at Old Mill Properties until Summer's end, but hope to be working in an all-girl rehab house by September. Matt's looking for any good paying job at the moment, hoping that he'll be able to go full-time sooner or later. (Look for my next blog, Having Hubby at Home) There are some job prospects on the horizon, but only God knows... and we're cool with that.

Herbal Hints

2006-04-17T11:43:00.000-05:00

As warm weather approaches, I've seen a lot of herb talk among the blogs. Here's some well-meant advice and encouragement for potted herbs, because a dead plant is a very sad thing.

Sometimes growing potted herbs can be downright frustrating. My dad can grow anything, but I have no clue why! I've used the same nasty products (fish emulsion or bird manure anyone?) and seemingly the same tecnique, but there are obvious limits to my green thumb. Why? Who knows, but I've learned a few key points. In the case of potted herbs, the main things to remember are fresh air and infrequent watering.

Tried potting herbs in terracotta lately? Good for you, I've quit. The clay pot & I haven't quite figured eachother out yet, so I stick to a plastic option, and use the pretty ones as a cover. Or buy a nice, heavy ceramic container for when the little guys are ready, but terracotta is for Martha Steward only.

Good ones to try for your kitchen windows or porch area:
- Spearmint (ever had a Mohito? or fabulous to brew in sun tea)
- Sweet Basil (lovely with chicken and veggies on the grill)
- Greek Oregano (requires the most sunlight)
- Chives (endless choices)

Ones to avoid--and I'm not kidding!
These just love the ground so much more than potts
- Rosemary (only in Italy, honey)
- Sage (looks great in flower beds)
- Thyme
- Dill (will come back again next summer too)
- Annise

Click on the title for more info!

A tour, if you will

2006-04-09T13:15:00.000-05:00

Vacation is Good

2006-04-07T10:47:00.000-05:00

Yup, that sums it up: vacation is good.

We had a fabulous time together, all 6 of us: Mom & Dad, Luke & Michelle (sister-in-law), Matt & I.
With 3 rooms in a row and connected balconies, we enjoyed the salty air, the sounds of the sea, and plenty of time to relax on ship and on shore.

Have you ever cruised before? Wow. It's a great way to buffet-vacation, especially since the travel time is an experience all together! The ship, 12 decks tall, housed over 1500 people and took us to 3 ports: Belize, Costa Maya, Cozumel, & Georgetown in the Grand Cayman Isles. We snorkeled, sunned, chatted, and ate some pretty amazing things.

The photo above shows my first experience swiming with the fishies. I enjoyed it very much, until I saw a fish as big as me! Then I was scrambling and climbing on top of Matt to get out of the water! After 3 hours of being afraid of the groupers (big, scarry fish with fangs) I was exausted! But a palapa lunch by the bay lowered my blood pressure.

We also had an eco-system tour in Belize with a chance to explore some limestone caves (complete with cave spiders and Mayan pots). While in Belize, I enetered a drawing for a free diamond pendant from Diamonds International and WON! We also did some tourist shopping, of course. Then came the Sting Ray Encounter in Georgetown, which was amazing and very informative.

Laced between all our excursions was our stay aboard the ship, which had great food, plenty of things to do, and nice quiet spots also. We had incredible people helping us and we'll never forget their big smiles and friendly service. I learned how to say a few things in Bulgarian and how to "keep it real" no matter where I am.

Now we're back home to our new apartment upstairs. It's so nice, and we'll finish painting it this weekend. Our major stressors have melted away, giving Matt & I the gift of a renewed relationship. The craziness has died down some and we are on a much more peaceful road now.

Bless God, Amen!

We Need a Vacation

2006-03-24T10:55:00.000-05:00

Within a week our life speed trippled!
As of tomorrow, The Horkey/DeWever family will be away for a nice 8 day cruise to the Western Carribean... boy, have we earned this one!

5 days after our moving party, our new apartment (pictures to be posted later) is 100% settled, arranged, and 80% decorated. We've just got to finish painting the kitchen and hang some stuff.

True, we only moved up a floor in our little complex, but it's a world better (actually above ground, with windows and a full bath.) Yes, I actually took a bath last night--the first in 8 months since our move to Ashland. Ahhh... We love this little town.

But we're ready to take a break. Matt's taking a few steps back from real estate (probably for a long time) and will be closing up a few transactions by May. When those are done, he'll just be a normal workin' man... no big career goals just yet. I've been offered an assistant manager position at the gym I work at (only part-time now) but no decisions need to be made for a few months. Thankfully, the taxes are submitted. Cars registered and inspected for another year. Matt has provided a market analysis for a few would-be home-sellers. I've trained my sub for the real estate office. Phone service changed (Our number stays the same) and internet service too. Credit cards and bank cards notified of our brief time away. Eeek! Throw in a move, and it's only God that kept us sane.

The most exciting part is that I'll get to see my brother & sister-in-law, who are 5 months along in their first pregnancy... it's a boy! See you in a week!

The BBC Verdict

2006-03-14T13:45:00.000-05:00

After our visit with the Dean of Women @ BBC, which turned into an interview for Dorm Parents, we decided to continue with the process and scheduled another visit in 2 weeks.
After being home to recoop for a few days, I called the Dean's secretary to get an application for the position. However, she had some news to relay. According to Dean of Students, we needn't continue with our interview.

I think my heart stopped

I asked if the Dean of Women would call me, and hung up the phone, holding back the tears that threatened to fall. It had seemed so perfect, and would have answered so many questions, but I waited to hear from Mrs. King. When she called, she told me that Dr. Loescher (dean of students, lover of stability & tradition) had already interviewed some very good candidates and that we should wait a few years to re-apply. The other applicants were not "recent" grads, and had more life experience than Matt & me.

I was so surprised at not getting the possition. I was mad too, at myself I think, for getting my hopes up so fast. Up until recently, disappointments like this have made me stop persuing goals for fear of additional sadness. But I'm reading a book right now that is so inspirational and really helping me get past the fear in light of what God has in store. The Dream Giver, by Wilkinson has been so good for me, but more on that later.

For now, Matt & I are focusing only on the preent. We've got a vacation coming up in 10 days (March 24-April2) with my family, and are hoping to move into a nicer apartment within the next month. Our property manager is hoping to get it ready so we've got time to move in before leaving for Miami, and the scary thing is: it's possible!

I'm not sad about BBC anymore. We tended to stretch the traditional limits as students, and maybe we would have "pushed the envelope" a little too much while there. Or perhaps we were looking for an "easy" ministry, while God is prepping us for something much different. But teh fact is: God didn't have that in our program book, so who am I to disagree?

Our Misadventure

2006-03-10T14:40:00.000-05:00

Matt & I had been planning a trip to our alma mater for months.

Kristi Walker, a friend who's been in Germany for the past year, was in the area and so we planned as much into one weekend as possible: going to the Spring play, dinner with friends, coffee klatchs, and a very preliminary meeting about being dorm parents.

When we left New Hampshire, Thursday, I felt like a semi had run over me. With the symptoms of a well-formed chest cold, I was afraid the dry hacking would turn to dry heaving, but I held it together just fine. Two hours into the trip, we had to stop over at a friend's (house/workplace) for the night. Elisabeth is a nanny for a family that lives "just off the highway" and welcomed us in from the snowy highway. We had a great evening chatting it up and seeing where she spends her weekdays.

Next morning we left for a 4 hour stretch to Clarks Summit, PA. We arrived mid-morning and had a lovely lunch with Kristi and a few other friends. Next we met with the Dean of Women, which turned into an interview for dorm parenting. We were psyched out that this could turn into a ministry and future home for us. We scheduled another meeting two weeks hence, and moved on to visit past profs in the building.

Two hours later found Matt in the bathroom, experiencing the flu joys. He stayed in bed while I went out for dinner & a BBC play. That night we moved him into Colin & Anita Smith's home and he spent Saturday chatting with friends and sipping juice. By Saturday afternoon we hit the road intending to spend the night at my parent's home en rout to NH.

We were absolutely miserable-- one nauseated and coughing, the other tired & still dry hacking. But 10 days later we are almost completely healthy... looking forward to moving into a new apartment & counting down to the family vacation! (may it be better than our last mini-break)

The Troublesome Tiramisu

2006-02-28T12:31:00.000-05:00

I have great friends, great friends with similar palettes.

A week ago, a co-worker (thankyou, Diane) gave me a bunch of her excess ingredients needed to make the esteemed Italian dessert, Tiramisu. A coveted fav of mine and a rare treat, I waited until I could do the recipee justice and serve it up right.

Saturday was my day. I made it according to Maryanne Esposito's Ciao Italia recipee and brought the booty for our church fellowship time.

Note: I used real Kahlua, as I had it on hand.

Our fellowshipers at church took about 1/2 the Tiramisu off my hands, but Matt doesn't eat it, and neither would my co-workers at the office (Diane was now on vacation). So I brought a container to the gym for the girls and left a little for me in the fridge. This morning I was hungry, and toast & eggs wasn't gonna do, so I was a bad girl and ate my share of Tiramisu for breakfast... what a start to your day, right?

Until I got to work. My eyes just wouldn't open, they were dry & scratchy. I avoided my inbox, and kind-of loafed around, working on a flyer for one of the agents. Then I realised what was going on... and had a good hard laugh. I should not consume liquor-soaked ladyfingers at 8am (especially before work!) Oh man... too funny.

Our 2nd "Valentersary"

2006-02-24T12:09:00.000-05:00

For those of you who don't know, our wedding anniversary is February 14th (married 2004), so every Valentines Day is extra special for us (and extra expensive).

Our first anniversay didn't go so well. Matt injured his back that same week, and it caught up to him on our very special day. He couldn't stand up straight, nor could he sit up comfortably... so dinner out wasn't an option. We finally got him into the chiropractor mid-afternoon, which helped--but husband was still miserably out-of-sorts. I made dinner, which he wouldn't eat (it wasn't that great, though). So I cried over our 1st anniv. dinner, thankfully, though, the resurrected cake was soooo good.

Needless to say, I didn't want to hope for much this year, but it was absolutely classic.

We arrived at my favorite little Austrian Bistro to discover that someone has already been there. There was a gorgeous vase of roses on the table, with a wrapped gift & a magnum of iced champagne. What a delight! Breakfast had already been a time of card & gift exchanging. We had a delicious meal and an excellent night all around. He is my funny Valentine.

The American Dream: A Myth

2006-02-07T12:44:00.000-05:00

This article really resonated with me. What are your thoughts?
~Alicia

I may pick up a copy of "Strapped: Why America's 20-and 30-Somethings Can't Get Ahead" by Demos

http://moneycentral.msn.com/content/CollegeandFamily/Moneyinyour20s/P140959.asp?GT1=7822

Who's cooler than me?

2006-02-02T12:37:00.000-05:00

God is cooler than me.
Funny story:
The other morning I went out to start my car before leaving for work. Hair not done, contacts not in, boots not tied, no coat, no gloves. Just wanted to start the car. Overnight, winter had brought a fresh delivery of snow, ice, and slush. "Damn!" (all my cursing is mental, by the way) In crossing the 10 feet of distance to the Jetta, I jarred and re-jarred my vertebrae on the ice, sunk 4" into slush ravines, and then worked around the car to clean it off--revisiting the ice and slush, alternately, with each step. Yes, I was hot and bothered... and hormonal.
As I turned into a freakish version of Frosty the Snowman's wife, a song burst loudly into my mind. "It's all about You, Jesus, for Your glory and Your fame. It's not about me."
And He reminded me again: God is cooler than me. He is worthy of praise, but all I could see was me, my stupid car, and the stupid winter.
God puts situations in our lives so we'll talk to Him about it. He wants us. He moves through our frustation like the smell of morning coffee moves around the house. He just moves, slowly waking us out of bed to realise the coffee is made, the promise of peace is actualised. He is in me, He is living my life.
He's not fixing our surroundings (necesarily) but fixing us. Our crummy attitudes, egotistical perspective, and earthy funkiness combine to make us a priceless puzzle that only God can make whole. To repeat the mantra: It's all about Him, it's NOT about me.

A Fresh Outlook

2006-01-30T14:47:00.000-05:00

A good snow seems to make everything silent. Left alone in this weather is health to the soul, a time to reflect and take in what you wouldn't stop for the previous day.

It makes you want to be trapped in the enormous snowsuit of your childhood again, when snowmen, big hills, & sleds ruled supreme on days when there was no school--only hot cocoa, cold cheeks, and puddles all over the kitchen floor.

A fresh snow will make older folks flutter with worry, and the younger ones scoff with the invincible attitudes of their peers.

And I am caught up somewhere between all these. The quiet relection mixes with the desire to jump up and down in piles of this cold white stuff, but still nervous that loved ones will discover the one spot on highway 93 that should have been sanded better. However, I am free to be wild in this world of pillows, knowing that today is rare and special and much too quiet.

Chinese New Year Date

2006-01-30T13:42:00.000-05:00

It's taken a while for me to make regular use of this blog... my friends are putting me to shame!
The last Saturday of January was a warm & Balmy 45 degrees, so Matt & I escaped the little apartment for a date night. Having a full work week makes the weekends feel so open and fun! We went to a new Chinese/Japanese restaurant and it was packed! The food was delish, of course, but I am ashamed to say I couldn't understand our waitress. Was she saying "oranges" or "orange juice?" I know that everything I ate was "Japanese Specialty," but sure wish I understood the answers to my questions. It wasn't until the next morning, getting into Google, did we realise it had been the big night for the Chinese New Year. We had a great time, eating wonderful Ginger-flavored foods, then stopping for coffee and perusing the isles of Lowes. It was so nice to be out together, just chatting.

Numa Numa

2005-11-02T15:25:00.000-05:00

I know that most of the world has seen this, but

I had to post it anyway. MAtt drove me crazy last week by playing the stupid video over & over, and then doing a world wide web search about all related topics. So I now know a lot more about this guy (and all the friends at school that make funof him) than anyone should. Anyhoo, enjoy the theatrics!

www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/numa.php

Our Picture

2005-11-02T13:45:00.000-05:00

Joined the Gym

2005-11-02T12:21:00.000-05:00

Well, the gym is really giving Matt & me a daily boost in energy. How great to be conciously aware of your body in a good way! And I expect that those big rubber balls won't be quite so intimidating now. He he he...
The winters can get so depressing here in New England, so we may even invest in TV, but it's still uncertain.

Jamaica

2005-11-02T11:12:00.000-05:00

A picture of us on our honeymoon... that was almost 2 years ago!

Post Grad Top Ten

2005-11-01T15:00:00.000-05:00

If you're like any recent post college adult, the following applies:

1. You've got no friends within a 30 mile radius. If you do, they're old high school buddies
2. You've still got your 8th grade yearbook
3. "Storage" is defined as your parent's basement or attic
4. "Making a difference" is paired with paying off your debt
5. You've attended 2 weddings per summer since you've graduated
6. The Freshman 15 is back
7. You wish you had your old car again
8. If married, you're waiting to afford kids
9. If single, you're loaded
10. Keeping in touch with friends from college happens next to never